It has now been 26 hours since Dad's feeding tube stopped. He has had some water by mouth - the nurse told us her trick of putting her finger over the straw, lifting it out of the cup and releasing it into his mouth. :-) Very little of the water will be absorbed, but it is refreshing to him anyway.
God is revealing Himself to us. Until today, Dad was reluctant to talk of spiritual things. But this morning he told the nurse that God had been speaking to him! And then, he told Mom that he is preparing for his "great journey Home"--and pointed toward Heaven!!! This is such a change that we know God has been speaking to his heart and preparing him. So awesome.
My (Alice's) flights were delayed a bit today, but I arrived here to Ledgeview about 7:20 pm. Lois and Daniel are still here; I'll drive them to the airport in the morning to go back to Ecuador. But for tonight . . . our family is together, one last time in this life. Thank you Lord.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Waiting and Working
This is Alice. Mom's computer is acting up, so Lois can't get on line to post.
The last few days, we all have been waiting. Mom and Lois are also working, diligently copying and compiling the financial documents that Maine Medicaid has requested.
Dad continues to decline. His pressure sore is 4" in diameter now, and a fistula has developed from the abdomen to the skin. He has been a bit confused also. Today he told Lois he didn't know where he was supposed to hand in his report. Lois told him not to worry about it, and he said "I'm not going to!" :-) Tonight he asked Mom where he should meet her in the morning. She said "I'll come meet you here," and thankfully, he agreed to that. :-)
There have been a few bright spots. Dad smiled at baby Daniel once yesterday. And today, he requested ice cream, and ate a little bit!!
Lois and Daniel have tickets to return to Ecuador on Friday, and if Dad's feeding tube is still working, she plans to go. Her husband and four other children need her. If the tube becomes blocked between now and then, the decision becomes harder, because it will not be replaced. If/when that happens, I will go to Maine as soon as possible. Jack and the kids will come when Dad passes.
So we are trusting God to orchestrate these difficult final days. It is good to know that He will work everything out for the best.
The last few days, we all have been waiting. Mom and Lois are also working, diligently copying and compiling the financial documents that Maine Medicaid has requested.
Dad continues to decline. His pressure sore is 4" in diameter now, and a fistula has developed from the abdomen to the skin. He has been a bit confused also. Today he told Lois he didn't know where he was supposed to hand in his report. Lois told him not to worry about it, and he said "I'm not going to!" :-) Tonight he asked Mom where he should meet her in the morning. She said "I'll come meet you here," and thankfully, he agreed to that. :-)
There have been a few bright spots. Dad smiled at baby Daniel once yesterday. And today, he requested ice cream, and ate a little bit!!
Lois and Daniel have tickets to return to Ecuador on Friday, and if Dad's feeding tube is still working, she plans to go. Her husband and four other children need her. If the tube becomes blocked between now and then, the decision becomes harder, because it will not be replaced. If/when that happens, I will go to Maine as soon as possible. Jack and the kids will come when Dad passes.
So we are trusting God to orchestrate these difficult final days. It is good to know that He will work everything out for the best.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sleeping Beauty
Today Dad has been sleeping every time Mom or I (Lois) have gone in to see him. The nurse says that he rouses when she needs to do something for him in connection with his care, but has not spoken to her. He is very sore in his midsection especially, and also has a bad pressure sore on his backside. So if he can find some comfort in sleep, I am glad that he has been able to do so.
Last night, before the feeding pump was started again, Mom and I were in with him briefly and he was complaining of a very dry mouth. His words sounded slurred--the vowel sounds were coming through all right but the consonants were getting lost somehow. We don't know if this was only because of his dry mouth condition, or if something else was going on as well. We haven't been able to judge accurately since we haven't heard him speak today.
Pastor John Holliday and his sweet wife Rosalie were in to see the family today. They are always such a blessing. Pastor Holliday was relating a recent visit when he had asked Dad how he was feeling, and Dad had started rubbing the back of one hand with the other. It took Pastor Holliday a moment to get his meaning: other times when he has asked Dad how he was feeling, Dad has responded tongue-in-cheek, "With my hands." Now that he finds it more difficult to express himself verbally, Dad is finding creative ways to let us know that he IS still there, with his characteristic dry sense of humor still intact.
Last night, before the feeding pump was started again, Mom and I were in with him briefly and he was complaining of a very dry mouth. His words sounded slurred--the vowel sounds were coming through all right but the consonants were getting lost somehow. We don't know if this was only because of his dry mouth condition, or if something else was going on as well. We haven't been able to judge accurately since we haven't heard him speak today.
Pastor John Holliday and his sweet wife Rosalie were in to see the family today. They are always such a blessing. Pastor Holliday was relating a recent visit when he had asked Dad how he was feeling, and Dad had started rubbing the back of one hand with the other. It took Pastor Holliday a moment to get his meaning: other times when he has asked Dad how he was feeling, Dad has responded tongue-in-cheek, "With my hands." Now that he finds it more difficult to express himself verbally, Dad is finding creative ways to let us know that he IS still there, with his characteristic dry sense of humor still intact.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Not ready yet
Good news! One of the nurses was able to get Dad's feeding tube cleared tonight, so they are starting up the pump again. I guess his heavenly mansion is just not quite ready yet.
This could be it
This is still Lois reporting from West Paris, Maine. Today Dad's feeding tube clogged again. The nurse is going to continue trying to unblock it, but if she is unsuccessful, we will once again pose the question to Dad: Is he willing to go through the ordeal of the ride to the hospital and the insertion of a new tube? There is no guarantee that a new tube will work, because if the cancer growth is the cause of the tube's clogging this time, then a new tube obviously will not function either. The last time he was questioned concerning his wishes in the event of the feeding tube getting blocked, his response was that he was willing to undergo the procedure once again. That was before he saw Daniel and me, however. He may have a different answer this time.
Dad does have a legal declaration on file, made in 1994, in which he stated his choice NOT to be kept alive by artificial nutrition and hydration in the event of a terminal illness. So if the present feeding tube cannot be unclogged and should Dad become too weak to communicate, we will abide by his written wish to be allowed a natural death with only the medication and care necessary to keep him comfortable. However, if he verbally gives authorization to attempt a new feeding tube, we will go with that.
We so much appreciate all of the prayers that are being offered before the Throne of Grace on Dad's behalf, and also for us as family members. Thank you for all of the visits, phone calls, and notes of encouragement as well. We may not be rich in worldly goods, but we are wealthy beyond expression in the love and thoughtfulness of true friends.
Dad does have a legal declaration on file, made in 1994, in which he stated his choice NOT to be kept alive by artificial nutrition and hydration in the event of a terminal illness. So if the present feeding tube cannot be unclogged and should Dad become too weak to communicate, we will abide by his written wish to be allowed a natural death with only the medication and care necessary to keep him comfortable. However, if he verbally gives authorization to attempt a new feeding tube, we will go with that.
We so much appreciate all of the prayers that are being offered before the Throne of Grace on Dad's behalf, and also for us as family members. Thank you for all of the visits, phone calls, and notes of encouragement as well. We may not be rich in worldly goods, but we are wealthy beyond expression in the love and thoughtfulness of true friends.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sitting up and LIT up!
This is Lois, filling in for Alice. I am so very thankful for all of the prayers and financial help that got Daniel and me up here to spend some time with Dad and Mom. God has been so good. We had an uneventful trip, other than my one piece of checked luggage not making it here until a day after I did. But since they delivered it to my door and I had all the immediate necessities in my carry-on luggage, it was not a problem.
When I first saw Dad Saturday morning, he was sitting up in a chair for the first time in days! The nurse reported that she had caught him trying to get out of bed all by himself, and when she asked him incredulously what he was trying to do, he replied emphatically, "I want to get OUT OF THIS BED!!!" Dad seemed pleased to see me (Daniel was taking a nap at the time so he wasn't with me), but one of the first things he said was, "Short visit." The second time I went in I took Daniel, and a big smile came over Dad's face. You've heard the expression, "His face lit up." That is a good description of what happens every time Dad sees his grandson--it is like a lightbulb is turned on within. He has described Daniel as a "beautiful baby" and a "little doll." He reaches out his hand, shaking with Parkinson's, to touch Daniel's little fist, and a loving smile just beams from his face. I am so glad that God chose to give him this bit of joy in the midst of his pain.
Dad hasn't sat up (that we are aware of, anyway) since Saturday. He seems to be finding it more difficult to get breath enough to talk, so Mom and I try to keep it a one-way conversation as much as possible. We wonder if the cancer has spread to his lungs. There is really no way to know.
While we find it difficult to see Dad suffer, we know that he is safe in the hands of One Who loves him much more than we do. And we continue to pray for God's perfect will. His grace is sufficient for each moment, and we rest in His unfailing love.
When I first saw Dad Saturday morning, he was sitting up in a chair for the first time in days! The nurse reported that she had caught him trying to get out of bed all by himself, and when she asked him incredulously what he was trying to do, he replied emphatically, "I want to get OUT OF THIS BED!!!" Dad seemed pleased to see me (Daniel was taking a nap at the time so he wasn't with me), but one of the first things he said was, "Short visit." The second time I went in I took Daniel, and a big smile came over Dad's face. You've heard the expression, "His face lit up." That is a good description of what happens every time Dad sees his grandson--it is like a lightbulb is turned on within. He has described Daniel as a "beautiful baby" and a "little doll." He reaches out his hand, shaking with Parkinson's, to touch Daniel's little fist, and a loving smile just beams from his face. I am so glad that God chose to give him this bit of joy in the midst of his pain.
Dad hasn't sat up (that we are aware of, anyway) since Saturday. He seems to be finding it more difficult to get breath enough to talk, so Mom and I try to keep it a one-way conversation as much as possible. We wonder if the cancer has spread to his lungs. There is really no way to know.
While we find it difficult to see Dad suffer, we know that he is safe in the hands of One Who loves him much more than we do. And we continue to pray for God's perfect will. His grace is sufficient for each moment, and we rest in His unfailing love.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
She made it!
Lois and Daniel arrived safely in West Paris around midnight. Thanks Aunt Jane, and thank you Lord!!
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