Friday, December 19, 2008

Friday, December 19

Sorry it's taken a couple of days to post a report from our meeting with the social worker. I thought she would want to find out Mom & Dad's condition in detail to help us make decisions. But it wasn't like that. She talked pretty much nonstop, giving us information about agencies and programs. I was thankful that she spoke clearly and loudly so Dad could hear. He listened at first, until he dozed off. Mom took a few notes. I did too, but most of it I already knew from my job experience.

The outcome is that the social worker said she would send a referral to an agency. After January, Mom and Dad should no longer need nursing or therapy, but they will continue to need homemaker services to help with housecleaning and running errands. It is possible they will qualify for a reduced rate, which would be a great help. And the social worker reassured us that if and when their savings get below a certain point, Medicaid covers help in the home, to keep people out of nursing homes as long as possible.

When she asked if we had questions, I did express two of my concerns.
1. That Dad would veto the services because of the cost, not realizing how frail Mom is. (Since she has come home, he has asked her to do several things that she has had to refuse because she is not able.) We addressed that directly with him, and he agreed that help is needed.
2. The many falling hazards in the house. Even as we were meeting, the social worker expressed her concern about the humidifier placed in the middle of the floor, directly in front of Mom's chair. She gently told Mom that moving stuff around (such as having to clean off the washing machine every time it is used) adds to the risk of falling. Mom said she is careful. We moved the humidifier in front of a footstool piled two feet high with newspapers. And that was the end of that conversation.

The greatest concern I still have is that Mom and Dad both get confused. The numerous doctors that Mom saw during the first couple weeks she was having the mini seizures changed her medication several times, and she got completely mixed up as to what she should and should not be taking. If I hadn't gone to every appointment with her and written everything down, there would be no one to straighten things out.

Dad is adamant to continue living there, and despite the concerns, that has not yet been clearly shown to be impossible. Therefore, we will continue trying to put help and support in place for them, keep hinting at how warm and sunny Florida is, and trust God to make it abundantly clear TO DAD when they MUST move to a more manageable place. Mom & I simply cannot go against his wishes yet.

Thanks for praying for us!

1 comment:

Ruth said...

My Dad would have related well to your Dad. He lived in Maine all his life, and thought going South meant going to New Hampshire. Ha! Praying for you and for your parents in these challenging days.
Ruth Brendle