John and Mary Jane are back to "normal" in that they are at home together, while Alice and family have gone back to Florida, and Lois and family have gone back to Virginia.
They are managing pretty well with senior meals, housekeeping help, and friends from church helping with transportation.
However, all of our family and friends, with the important exception of John, feel that they should sell their house and move into a safer, more manageable environment close to family. John is determined to "stick it out right here." However his advancing Alzheimer's, combined with Mom's still-frail health, make that unlikely.
Mom now recognizes this, and wants to prepare to move, possibly to an assisted-living apartment, in summer of 2010. This will involve disposing of 40 years of accumulated "stuff." Unfortunately, she does not have the energy yet to work very much on that.
So we appreciate everyone who is helping them in so many ways, and appreciate your prayers that God would keep them safe and give them the grace and strength to handle this difficult season of their lives.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
We are so thankful to God for a WONDERFUL 40th anniversary celebration for Mom and Dad on Saturday! It was held at the West Paris (ME) Baptist Church, where they were married 40 years ago on May 24. God gave perfect weather so everyone could drive safely to get there. The room was crowded, which, despite the lack of elbow room, was a wonderful tribute to how many lives Mom and Dad have touched.
Because purple lilacs were in bloom when Mom and Dad were married, we decorated the room with that theme. We had plenty of food, thanks to many who helped!! The cake, made by Katie Parsons, was beautiful and featured Mom and Dad's original wedding cake top. They also used their original cake knife to cut it.
Several folks from their wedding party were there, including the flower girl and ringbearer. The ringbearer, Jerry Oja, served as our photographer, and I will post some of his pictures when I get them. I took one:
Mom and Dad received many wonderful cards. They were so pleased.
Lois and I sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" to thank God for the parents He gave us. We have come to realize that the loving, stable home we enjoyed growing up is the exception rather than the rule, and we are so grateful for it.
We shared a slide presentation of photos from Mom and Dad's past and present. The music that was supposed to accompany it didn't, but at least the pictures worked and everyone enjoyed it.
Lois and Chris, and Jack and I and our families, will be in the Gorham area the rest of this week. Next week we will go our separate ways. It will be hard to leave Mom and Dad. We have to trust that they are in God's hands. We are grateful for all the help and support that is available to them.
Because purple lilacs were in bloom when Mom and Dad were married, we decorated the room with that theme. We had plenty of food, thanks to many who helped!! The cake, made by Katie Parsons, was beautiful and featured Mom and Dad's original wedding cake top. They also used their original cake knife to cut it.
Several folks from their wedding party were there, including the flower girl and ringbearer. The ringbearer, Jerry Oja, served as our photographer, and I will post some of his pictures when I get them. I took one:
Mom and Dad received many wonderful cards. They were so pleased.
Lois and I sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" to thank God for the parents He gave us. We have come to realize that the loving, stable home we enjoyed growing up is the exception rather than the rule, and we are so grateful for it.
We shared a slide presentation of photos from Mom and Dad's past and present. The music that was supposed to accompany it didn't, but at least the pictures worked and everyone enjoyed it.
Lois and Chris, and Jack and I and our families, will be in the Gorham area the rest of this week. Next week we will go our separate ways. It will be hard to leave Mom and Dad. We have to trust that they are in God's hands. We are grateful for all the help and support that is available to them.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
We praise the Lord that Mom and Dad are somewhat settling in to their lives again. I say "somewhat" because there are definitely challenges.
We are grateful for the availability of home care services to help Mom with housekeeping. She is grateful too, but it is always tough when someone else is doing your work, who may not do it the way you are accustomed to. If you feel the need to closely supervise them, it can be almost as much work as doing it yourself.
Dad is finding it stressful also, to have unfamiliar people in the house so often. So, when he is irritable, we would really appreciate prayer for grace and strength for Mom to respond gently but firmly.
Mom has days where she feels quite good! She tries to get a lot accomplished . . . and then she is exhausted for several days. Please pray that she would have wisdom to pace herself, and to know what tasks are most important to tackle with her limited strength.
She is very excited about their 40th Wedding Anniversary party, coming up on Jan. 17, 1:00 pm, at West Paris Baptist Church, West Paris Maine. Please come join us if you can! We are praying for good weather.
Thanks so much for your caring and friendship for our family. We give thanks to God for you.
We are grateful for the availability of home care services to help Mom with housekeeping. She is grateful too, but it is always tough when someone else is doing your work, who may not do it the way you are accustomed to. If you feel the need to closely supervise them, it can be almost as much work as doing it yourself.
Dad is finding it stressful also, to have unfamiliar people in the house so often. So, when he is irritable, we would really appreciate prayer for grace and strength for Mom to respond gently but firmly.
Mom has days where she feels quite good! She tries to get a lot accomplished . . . and then she is exhausted for several days. Please pray that she would have wisdom to pace herself, and to know what tasks are most important to tackle with her limited strength.
She is very excited about their 40th Wedding Anniversary party, coming up on Jan. 17, 1:00 pm, at West Paris Baptist Church, West Paris Maine. Please come join us if you can! We are praying for good weather.
Thanks so much for your caring and friendship for our family. We give thanks to God for you.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
We had a wonderful Christmas! On Christmas Eve, the children and I spent some time at Mom & Dad's (Jack wasn't feeling well). Mom had wrapped some gifts that she had bought earlier in the year, and that she had picked up on two brief shopping excursions we have taken. She was so pleased to have us open them at her house.
We were also able to deliver plates of homemade candy to her neighbors, that have been such a help with snow removal. What a great thing to live in a neighborhood where people truly care!! Mom walked to the houses on both sides, even to an upstairs apartment. It is great to see her getting stronger.
On Christmas Day, Mom & Dad came to the house where we're staying for Christmas dinner with us. That was a blessing as well.
On December 23 we met with a nurse from the home care service, who came to Mom & Dad's house to do an assessment of their situation and determine what assistance is needed. It was decided that someone will come twice a week to do housework and errands. The good news is that they qualify for a reduced rate for the services, which will be a great help.
We are looking forward now to a 40th anniversary party planned for Mom & Dad at West Paris Baptist Church in West Paris, Maine at 1:00 pm on January 17. We plan to mail invitations this week, but if you are reading this blog, please consider yourself invited. It will be a celebration of all God has done throughout their lives, but especially this year as we rejoice that they are still here together.
We were also able to deliver plates of homemade candy to her neighbors, that have been such a help with snow removal. What a great thing to live in a neighborhood where people truly care!! Mom walked to the houses on both sides, even to an upstairs apartment. It is great to see her getting stronger.
On Christmas Day, Mom & Dad came to the house where we're staying for Christmas dinner with us. That was a blessing as well.
On December 23 we met with a nurse from the home care service, who came to Mom & Dad's house to do an assessment of their situation and determine what assistance is needed. It was decided that someone will come twice a week to do housework and errands. The good news is that they qualify for a reduced rate for the services, which will be a great help.
We are looking forward now to a 40th anniversary party planned for Mom & Dad at West Paris Baptist Church in West Paris, Maine at 1:00 pm on January 17. We plan to mail invitations this week, but if you are reading this blog, please consider yourself invited. It will be a celebration of all God has done throughout their lives, but especially this year as we rejoice that they are still here together.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Friday, December 19
Sorry it's taken a couple of days to post a report from our meeting with the social worker. I thought she would want to find out Mom & Dad's condition in detail to help us make decisions. But it wasn't like that. She talked pretty much nonstop, giving us information about agencies and programs. I was thankful that she spoke clearly and loudly so Dad could hear. He listened at first, until he dozed off. Mom took a few notes. I did too, but most of it I already knew from my job experience.
The outcome is that the social worker said she would send a referral to an agency. After January, Mom and Dad should no longer need nursing or therapy, but they will continue to need homemaker services to help with housecleaning and running errands. It is possible they will qualify for a reduced rate, which would be a great help. And the social worker reassured us that if and when their savings get below a certain point, Medicaid covers help in the home, to keep people out of nursing homes as long as possible.
When she asked if we had questions, I did express two of my concerns.
1. That Dad would veto the services because of the cost, not realizing how frail Mom is. (Since she has come home, he has asked her to do several things that she has had to refuse because she is not able.) We addressed that directly with him, and he agreed that help is needed.
2. The many falling hazards in the house. Even as we were meeting, the social worker expressed her concern about the humidifier placed in the middle of the floor, directly in front of Mom's chair. She gently told Mom that moving stuff around (such as having to clean off the washing machine every time it is used) adds to the risk of falling. Mom said she is careful. We moved the humidifier in front of a footstool piled two feet high with newspapers. And that was the end of that conversation.
The greatest concern I still have is that Mom and Dad both get confused. The numerous doctors that Mom saw during the first couple weeks she was having the mini seizures changed her medication several times, and she got completely mixed up as to what she should and should not be taking. If I hadn't gone to every appointment with her and written everything down, there would be no one to straighten things out.
Dad is adamant to continue living there, and despite the concerns, that has not yet been clearly shown to be impossible. Therefore, we will continue trying to put help and support in place for them, keep hinting at how warm and sunny Florida is, and trust God to make it abundantly clear TO DAD when they MUST move to a more manageable place. Mom & I simply cannot go against his wishes yet.
Thanks for praying for us!
The outcome is that the social worker said she would send a referral to an agency. After January, Mom and Dad should no longer need nursing or therapy, but they will continue to need homemaker services to help with housecleaning and running errands. It is possible they will qualify for a reduced rate, which would be a great help. And the social worker reassured us that if and when their savings get below a certain point, Medicaid covers help in the home, to keep people out of nursing homes as long as possible.
When she asked if we had questions, I did express two of my concerns.
1. That Dad would veto the services because of the cost, not realizing how frail Mom is. (Since she has come home, he has asked her to do several things that she has had to refuse because she is not able.) We addressed that directly with him, and he agreed that help is needed.
2. The many falling hazards in the house. Even as we were meeting, the social worker expressed her concern about the humidifier placed in the middle of the floor, directly in front of Mom's chair. She gently told Mom that moving stuff around (such as having to clean off the washing machine every time it is used) adds to the risk of falling. Mom said she is careful. We moved the humidifier in front of a footstool piled two feet high with newspapers. And that was the end of that conversation.
The greatest concern I still have is that Mom and Dad both get confused. The numerous doctors that Mom saw during the first couple weeks she was having the mini seizures changed her medication several times, and she got completely mixed up as to what she should and should not be taking. If I hadn't gone to every appointment with her and written everything down, there would be no one to straighten things out.
Dad is adamant to continue living there, and despite the concerns, that has not yet been clearly shown to be impossible. Therefore, we will continue trying to put help and support in place for them, keep hinting at how warm and sunny Florida is, and trust God to make it abundantly clear TO DAD when they MUST move to a more manageable place. Mom & I simply cannot go against his wishes yet.
Thanks for praying for us!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 17
Mom and Dad and I are meeting with a social worker this afternoon, to plan for the time when I will return to Florida. I am looking forward to this meeting, because it will be a good opportunity to speak frankly about things that have been difficult for me to say on my own.
It still is not an easy situation, so I feel a little apprehension as well. Mom and Dad don't seem to, which is a blessing. :-)
We'll let you know how it turns out! Thank you so much, as always, for your prayers.
It still is not an easy situation, so I feel a little apprehension as well. Mom and Dad don't seem to, which is a blessing. :-)
We'll let you know how it turns out! Thank you so much, as always, for your prayers.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Saturday, December 13 - An encouraging week!
This has been a very encouraging week, in that Mom seems much stronger now than she was a week ago!
She is able to do more around the house without feeling wobbly and getting so quickly exhausted. And she is starting to transition away from needing so many home health aide services.
Some confusion is still evident, as we had a couple of mix-ups this week about appointments and medications. But we trust that will continue to improve as well.
She and I have had fun this week, making a couple of batches of candy and fudge to give as Christmas gifts. That has been a tradition of hers for many years, and I'm pleased to be able to help her do it again this year. It didn't seem possible a month ago!
We will be getting the help of a social worker to meet with us and discuss plans for when Jack & I return to Florida at the end of January. That is encouraging too, to know that type of support is available.
Thanks for praying for us!! May our eyes stay focused on the One Who came as the greatest Gift of all.
She is able to do more around the house without feeling wobbly and getting so quickly exhausted. And she is starting to transition away from needing so many home health aide services.
Some confusion is still evident, as we had a couple of mix-ups this week about appointments and medications. But we trust that will continue to improve as well.
She and I have had fun this week, making a couple of batches of candy and fudge to give as Christmas gifts. That has been a tradition of hers for many years, and I'm pleased to be able to help her do it again this year. It didn't seem possible a month ago!
We will be getting the help of a social worker to meet with us and discuss plans for when Jack & I return to Florida at the end of January. That is encouraging too, to know that type of support is available.
Thanks for praying for us!! May our eyes stay focused on the One Who came as the greatest Gift of all.
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