Praying for Mary Jane

Mom's Visit to Florida

2011-04-19T10:27:00.027-04:00

Soon after Dad passed away on January 29, we started planning for Mom to visit Florida. We purchased plane tickets, but the trip seemed in jeopardy when she was hospitalized on March 11, shaking and incoherent.

Thankfully, her symptoms were resolved by a medication change and she was discharged on March 15. Her doctor wanted to send her to a rehab hospital, but she told him "No, I have to go to Florida!" :-) Many of you prayed, and her strength returned in time for the trip. On March 22, Aunt Jane took her to the Portland airport, wheelchair assistance saw her to her gate, and she flew nonstop to Orlando.
Mom stayed in NTM's comfortable Guest House next to our building. Amazingly, she was able to climb the stairs to our apartment on the third floor! (Occasionally, when she was tired, she accepted a ride on our 1925 hand-operated elevator. :-)

We had so much fun showing Mom around and introducing her to everyone. The kids showed her their school and she got to meet their friends.

With June (Jack's mom) and Regan at Evan's baseball game

Enjoying our church's missions conference

On an outing with two of her college friends, Jacky Riley and Peggy Bragg. She also saw another college classmate, Paul Rasmussen, who serves here at NTM.

The weather was beautiful for the most part, and we enjoyed some great day trips. One was a boat ride up the St. Johns River to Blue Spring State Park. Alligators were everywhere--we saw about 20 of them!

With Jack's dad on our boat ride

At the Thursby house museum, Blue Spring State Park

Our whole crew after the boat ride

We went to New Smyrna Beach . . .. . . and to the Holy Land Experience in Orlando . . .

Overall, we tried to have fun while still allowing Mom adequate rest. Most days she got a good nap, but after she returned home on April 6, I think she still needed a few days to recover. :-)

We received some good news on financial matters. Mom got her check from the life insurance company that gave us a hard time, and MaineCare is helping with Dad's nursing home bill. We are still trying to sell the house in Gorham. If anyone is interested in a fixer-upper in a great location, let us know!!

At Dairy Queen

Jack and I are planning to move back to New England in June. We hope to eventually find a house with an "in-law apartment" that will enable us to care for Mom.

Many of you know Jack's parents, Art and June, and we ask your prayers for them also. Jack's dad has a malignant tumor on his cheek that is invading his mouth. Radiation proved ineffective. Surgery and chemo are not options. So they are trying to manage the pain (he's allergic to morphine). He can open his mouth only slightly now, so he's living on Ensure and yogurt. A feeding tube is a possibility.

They have Amtrak tickets to go North in May, and Jack's dad is asking God for a good summer and the opportunity to enjoy his grandchildren one more time. Then he says he will be ready to go Home.

Moving On . . .

2011-02-12T21:44:00.002-05:00

Dad has been gone for two weeks now, and I (Alice) am back in Florida. Mom is alone in the apartment at Ledgeview. Dad hadn't been there since September, but now she has to get used to the fact that she can't visit him down the hall anymore, either. She says, "That's ok--I know where he is."

After the funeral, my time in Maine was spent going through files, making phone calls and writing letters about financial matters. Most accounts were straightforward, but one was not. Dad had converted a matured life insurance policy to an interest-bearing checking account in 1996, and didn't name a beneficiary for it because he thought the beneficiary on the life insurance would carry over. It didn't.

Thankfully, the amount was small enough to qualify as a "small estate," which simplifies things considerably in the eyes of the probate court.

The other wrinkle is that Maine Medicaid denied our application for help with Dad's nursing home bill. There were several errors on their case summary, so they have agreed to take another look at the case, as long as we send some additional documentation. Please pray that we can get everything to them in a timely fashion and that it may be approved this time.

Mom is doing well, though very tired. She has plenty to keep her busy: answering correspondence, going through stuff, putting pictures in albums, and we are hoping she can visit us in Florida next month!

Thank you all for your prayers, cards, and expressions of love for us. It is so comforting!

CHANGE OF PLANS

2011-02-01T14:52:00.002-05:00

It looks like nobody should plan to be out driving tomorrow. SO, we are going to change the day/time for the funeral to:

THURSDAY, FEB. 3 at 4:00 p.m. Same place -- West Paris Baptist Church.

We figured that would give everyone time to get plowed/shoveled out, and the roads should be a lot better and safer.

We are still having the visiting hours TONIGHT from 6-8 p.m. at the Andrews Funeral Home in Woodstock.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, and the winter clothes some of you have loaned us! :-)

Sorry About the Snow

2011-02-01T12:44:00.002-05:00

We have heard from many of you who are concerned about trying to make it to Dad's service tomorrow through the storm. We certainly understand, and are considering changing it.

I'm worried that if we do, some people might not learn of the change, and come anyway. But Pastor Scott, who is officiating, is worried that HE won't make it, and that could be a problem! :-) We will decide very soon and let you know.

2011-01-29T18:52:00.002-05:00

John Lyndon Ames passed away on Saturday, January 29, 2011 at Ledgeview Nursing Home in West Paris, Maine, after a battle with cancer. He was 80.

John was born on July 26, 1930 in Auburn, Maine to Chauncey Ames and Maude Chute Ames. His family moved to South Paris when he was about ten years old, and he graduated from Paris High School in 1948.

John loved trains. At the age of 19 he began his lifelong career with the Canadian National Railroad as a telegraph operator, which he greatly enjoyed. He worked at railroad stations in New England, New York and Ontario and took thousands of photographs of trains, many of which were later published.

Although unable to serve in the military, John volunteered for Civil Defense, and was also a member of the Grange in West Paris.

He married Mary Jane Abbott on May 24, 1969 and they moved to Gorham, New Hampshire in 1970, because John was working primarily at the station in Berlin. They became active in the Community Baptist Church, where John served as deacon, trustee and Sunday School superintendent for many years. He was a loving and faithful husband and father, and a great encouragement and support to his two daughters when they became missionaries.

John’s hobbies included building model railroad cars, doing crossword puzzles, and playing Scrabble. He was a good cook and made many delicious soups. He enjoyed living near Mt. Washington and taking visitors up the Auto Road to the summit. For several years, he had his own backyard weather station and kept careful records of his observations.

After John retired from the railroad in 1992, he joined the Retired & Senior Volunteer Program (RSVP) and became a volunteer driver for the Disabled American Veterans (DAV), taking patients to the VA hospital in White River Junction, VT, which he enjoyed very much. In 2007, he was recognized for having driven more than 200,000 miles for the DAV.

In 2009, John and Mary Jane moved to Ledgeview Living Center in West Paris, Maine. For the last four months he was a resident of Ledgeview Nursing Home, where he received excellent, loving care.

John is survived by his wife of 41 years, Mary Jane Ames of West Paris; daughter Alice Corbett and husband Jack of Sanford, Florida and their children Danielle, Evan and Regan; daughter Lois Tignor and husband Chris of Portoviejo, Ecuador and their children Elisabeth, James, Grace, Christina and Daniel; several nieces and nephews; and his beloved cat, Josey.

He was predeceased by his parents and two older siblings, Leona Ames James and Harold C. Ames.

Andrews Funeral Home in Woodstock, Maine is in charge of the arrangements. Relatives and friends are invited to visit there on Tuesday evening, February 1 from 6:00-8:00 pm. A memorial service is planned at the West Paris Baptist Church on Wednesday, February 2 at 11:00 am.

“But as many as received Him [Jesus], to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.” (John 1:12)

Dad is Home!

2011-01-29T12:39:00.003-05:00

Dad slipped away peacefully, Home to heaven about 10:00 this morning. Mom and I were with him, and my Aunt Betty. We are sad for us, but happy for him! Arrangements are still being finalized, so I will post the details when we have them.

In Heaven, people are young and healthy, because there is no sickness or aging! So here is a picture of Dad as he looks now.

Holding On

2011-01-28T20:22:00.007-05:00

Dad was alert this morning for a few minutes, and patted Daniel's head when we went in. Lois kissed Dad and said, "I'll see you later." And she will.

Lois, Daniel and I had a safe trip to the airport. It was a beautiful sunny morning, not too cold and roads were clear of snow.

We got them checked in, and bags checked all the way to Guayaquil -- Lois won't have to deal with them in Miami this trip! :-) We had a little time to get a muffin and hang out together before she went through security, which was sweet, in more ways than one. Took a few pictures on Lois' camera, but I don't have those yet.

This afternoon Dad drank several sips of water, which made me happy. He is not really talking though. He needs morphine shots every 2 hours now, so is mostly sleeping. Mom and I are glad, because he is in a lot of pain when awake.

Here are a couple more pictures of Daniel with his Nannie:

Almost Home

2011-01-27T21:59:00.002-05:00

It has now been 26 hours since Dad's feeding tube stopped. He has had some water by mouth - the nurse told us her trick of putting her finger over the straw, lifting it out of the cup and releasing it into his mouth. :-) Very little of the water will be absorbed, but it is refreshing to him anyway.

God is revealing Himself to us. Until today, Dad was reluctant to talk of spiritual things. But this morning he told the nurse that God had been speaking to him! And then, he told Mom that he is preparing for his "great journey Home"--and pointed toward Heaven!!! This is such a change that we know God has been speaking to his heart and preparing him. So awesome.

My (Alice's) flights were delayed a bit today, but I arrived here to Ledgeview about 7:20 pm. Lois and Daniel are still here; I'll drive them to the airport in the morning to go back to Ecuador. But for tonight . . . our family is together, one last time in this life. Thank you Lord.

Waiting and Working

2011-01-25T22:49:00.003-05:00

This is Alice. Mom's computer is acting up, so Lois can't get on line to post.

The last few days, we all have been waiting. Mom and Lois are also working, diligently copying and compiling the financial documents that Maine Medicaid has requested.

Dad continues to decline. His pressure sore is 4" in diameter now, and a fistula has developed from the abdomen to the skin. He has been a bit confused also. Today he told Lois he didn't know where he was supposed to hand in his report. Lois told him not to worry about it, and he said "I'm not going to!" :-) Tonight he asked Mom where he should meet her in the morning. She said "I'll come meet you here," and thankfully, he agreed to that. :-)

There have been a few bright spots. Dad smiled at baby Daniel once yesterday. And today, he requested ice cream, and ate a little bit!!

Lois and Daniel have tickets to return to Ecuador on Friday, and if Dad's feeding tube is still working, she plans to go. Her husband and four other children need her. If the tube becomes blocked between now and then, the decision becomes harder, because it will not be replaced. If/when that happens, I will go to Maine as soon as possible. Jack and the kids will come when Dad passes.

So we are trusting God to orchestrate these difficult final days. It is good to know that He will work everything out for the best.

Sleeping Beauty

2011-01-20T22:45:00.002-05:00

Today Dad has been sleeping every time Mom or I (Lois) have gone in to see him. The nurse says that he rouses when she needs to do something for him in connection with his care, but has not spoken to her. He is very sore in his midsection especially, and also has a bad pressure sore on his backside. So if he can find some comfort in sleep, I am glad that he has been able to do so.

Last night, before the feeding pump was started again, Mom and I were in with him briefly and he was complaining of a very dry mouth. His words sounded slurred--the vowel sounds were coming through all right but the consonants were getting lost somehow. We don't know if this was only because of his dry mouth condition, or if something else was going on as well. We haven't been able to judge accurately since we haven't heard him speak today.

Pastor John Holliday and his sweet wife Rosalie were in to see the family today. They are always such a blessing. Pastor Holliday was relating a recent visit when he had asked Dad how he was feeling, and Dad had started rubbing the back of one hand with the other. It took Pastor Holliday a moment to get his meaning: other times when he has asked Dad how he was feeling, Dad has responded tongue-in-cheek, "With my hands." Now that he finds it more difficult to express himself verbally, Dad is finding creative ways to let us know that he IS still there, with his characteristic dry sense of humor still intact.

Not ready yet

2011-01-19T22:02:00.002-05:00

Good news! One of the nurses was able to get Dad's feeding tube cleared tonight, so they are starting up the pump again. I guess his heavenly mansion is just not quite ready yet.

This could be it

2011-01-19T19:46:00.002-05:00

This is still Lois reporting from West Paris, Maine. Today Dad's feeding tube clogged again. The nurse is going to continue trying to unblock it, but if she is unsuccessful, we will once again pose the question to Dad: Is he willing to go through the ordeal of the ride to the hospital and the insertion of a new tube? There is no guarantee that a new tube will work, because if the cancer growth is the cause of the tube's clogging this time, then a new tube obviously will not function either. The last time he was questioned concerning his wishes in the event of the feeding tube getting blocked, his response was that he was willing to undergo the procedure once again. That was before he saw Daniel and me, however. He may have a different answer this time.

Dad does have a legal declaration on file, made in 1994, in which he stated his choice NOT to be kept alive by artificial nutrition and hydration in the event of a terminal illness. So if the present feeding tube cannot be unclogged and should Dad become too weak to communicate, we will abide by his written wish to be allowed a natural death with only the medication and care necessary to keep him comfortable. However, if he verbally gives authorization to attempt a new feeding tube, we will go with that.

We so much appreciate all of the prayers that are being offered before the Throne of Grace on Dad's behalf, and also for us as family members. Thank you for all of the visits, phone calls, and notes of encouragement as well. We may not be rich in worldly goods, but we are wealthy beyond expression in the love and thoughtfulness of true friends.

Sitting up and LIT up!

2011-01-17T21:32:00.003-05:00

This is Lois, filling in for Alice. I am so very thankful for all of the prayers and financial help that got Daniel and me up here to spend some time with Dad and Mom. God has been so good. We had an uneventful trip, other than my one piece of checked luggage not making it here until a day after I did. But since they delivered it to my door and I had all the immediate necessities in my carry-on luggage, it was not a problem.

When I first saw Dad Saturday morning, he was sitting up in a chair for the first time in days! The nurse reported that she had caught him trying to get out of bed all by himself, and when she asked him incredulously what he was trying to do, he replied emphatically, "I want to get OUT OF THIS BED!!!" Dad seemed pleased to see me (Daniel was taking a nap at the time so he wasn't with me), but one of the first things he said was, "Short visit." The second time I went in I took Daniel, and a big smile came over Dad's face. You've heard the expression, "His face lit up." That is a good description of what happens every time Dad sees his grandson--it is like a lightbulb is turned on within. He has described Daniel as a "beautiful baby" and a "little doll." He reaches out his hand, shaking with Parkinson's, to touch Daniel's little fist, and a loving smile just beams from his face. I am so glad that God chose to give him this bit of joy in the midst of his pain.

Dad hasn't sat up (that we are aware of, anyway) since Saturday. He seems to be finding it more difficult to get breath enough to talk, so Mom and I try to keep it a one-way conversation as much as possible. We wonder if the cancer has spread to his lungs. There is really no way to know.

While we find it difficult to see Dad suffer, we know that he is safe in the hands of One Who loves him much more than we do. And we continue to pray for God's perfect will. His grace is sufficient for each moment, and we rest in His unfailing love.

She made it!

2011-01-15T09:25:00.001-05:00

Lois and Daniel arrived safely in West Paris around midnight. Thanks Aunt Jane, and thank you Lord!!

A Burst of Energy

2011-01-14T09:29:00.003-05:00

On Wednesday, the day after Dad's pencil request, he was amazingly alert and energetic. He never did write anything, but he asked to get up and walk to the bathroom! He hadn't been out of bed for a couple weeks. With MUCH help (his legs would not support him at all) he was able to get to a portable chair placed beside the bed.

Also on Tuesday night and Wednesday, Dad was constantly calling for Mom. She had grown accustomed to visiting him for short periods, because he would either be asleep, or he would ask her to leave so he could go to sleep! Not so on Wednesday. He called for her early in the morning, and wanted her there nonstop. In the afternoon, she needed a nap, but had barely laid down when he called for her again. So she was very tired Wednesday night.

Yesterday was much different. Mom said Dad slept most of the day and hardly spoke. He also needed two shots for pain. His feeding tube has gotten blocked several times, but the nurses have been able to get it cleared.

Lois and baby Daniel went by bus to Guayaquil last night and flew out this morning. After stops in Miami and New York, they are scheduled to arrive in Portland ME at 9 pm. Aunt Jane is taking Mom to the airport to pick them up. We are praying that the roads will be clear of snow!

Of prayer and pencils

2011-01-11T21:55:00.002-05:00

I have two things to share tonight. One is really significant, and one is sort of random. :-)

Jon and Tammy Howry, our pastor from Gorham NH and his wife, visited Dad and Mom yesterday. They read some Scripture to Dad and prayed with him, and then--here's the cool part--Dad prayed with and for them!! Pastor Jon said it was such an encouragement. It was equally encouraging to hear about it, because he had seemed to forget about God and Heaven, and hasn't wanted to talk about eternal things.

And then, the random thing: Mom said that this afternoon, Dad asked her if she had her purse with her. She didn't (it was in the apartment, about 50 feet away) and he got very upset and worried. When asked why, he said that he needed a pencil.

Mom asked him why, and Dad said, "Because I'm going to write!!" (As if to say "Well, duh!") So Mom said, "Oh, okay" and got him a pencil. He gave very specific instructions where to put it on his bedside table. He didn't ask for paper though, and we have no idea what he might be planning to write. Mom didn't inquire further, because he doesn't like to be pestered by too many questions. :-)

The last time Dad wrote anything was in October. He signed his name to some legal papers, but it was incredibly difficult. Parkinson's caused his hand to shake and he was very weak, even then. So Mom and I are skeptical. But she is going to take him some paper in the morning, just to see what happens. :-)

Yay!!

2011-01-10T07:17:00.001-05:00

The blockage in Dad's feeding tube was able to be cleared, and it is working this morning!! Praise the Lord.

"Why Don't We Let Her."

2011-01-09T22:04:00.002-05:00

Mom said that Dad's day was like most of the past week . . . nausea this morning, a shot for pain, and sleeping most of the afternoon.

However, the feeding tube clogged again today. The charge nurse again asked him a question he has twice refused to answer: If they can't clear the blockage, does he want to go through the trip to the hospital and procedure to replace the tube? He looked at Mom and said, "Why don't we let her." So Mom told the nurse, "That's his answer." He's not ready to give up.

They are hoping that the blockage may be able to be cleared in the morning. If not, Dad will go to the hospital by ambulance for the replacement . . . but . . . the nurse told mom that the intestine may be getting too full of cancer to allow proper placement of a new tube.

Lois flies in from Ecuador late Friday night with baby Daniel. We are still praying she will be able to visit with Dad when she gets there.

Sweet and Funny Comment

2011-01-06T12:09:00.002-05:00

Dad said something to Mom recently (I think it was day before yesterday) that I forgot to share. It says volumes about the kind of wife that Mom has been and continues to be to him.

As she was sitting beside him holding his hand, Dad told her that he didn't think he would have many more days with her. She told him that although that would be hard, it would be ok. Then he said--this is the great part--"I guess it won't be much of a life for you, without Grampie Ames around."

I think this is wonderful, because it shows how Mom has made Dad feel loved and appreciated, even in his incapacitated state. They are so precious, and I pray for God's love, peace and comfort to surround them unceasingly in the valley of the shadow.

Holding On

2011-01-05T23:14:00.003-05:00

Dad continues to rest quietly most of the time. The pain is there, but manageable with medication. Mom said he slept most of the day today.

His feeding tube clogged last night, but the nurse was able to get it cleared. We really hope it will stay flowing until Lois gets there in 9 more days. Thanks for praying for peace, comfort and God's perfect timing!

No news is good news

2011-01-02T22:09:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year! "...I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand." --Ira Stanphill

On the phone this evening, my mom apologized that she didn't have more news. "Don't worry, Mom," I told her, "as precarious as Dad's condition is, I'm GLAD there isn't news!!!!!"

My dad has stayed quiet the last couple of days, except for some nausea. With pain medication, he is comfortable enough to sleep most of the time. Thankfully, the stomach tube is draining a bit again, and the feeding tube continues to work well also. PTL!!!

For those of you that know Jack's dad, Pastor Art Corbett, we would appreciate prayer for him also. He recently had a number of lymph nodes removed from his neck with metastatic squamous cell carcinoma. He has decided against radiation or chemo. Scars on his face from previous skin cancer surgery have tightened, making it difficult for him to open his mouth to eat. Although no cancer was found there, it is painful. So thanks for remembering him too.

A Peaceful Day

2010-12-30T23:02:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was difficult for Dad, but today was better. Mom said that it was quiet. The aides allowed him to remain on his back more, instead of turning him as much as they had been (because of his pressure sore). Minimizing movement helps keep him comfortable.

Dad did not talk much today, but Mom said he seemed content for her to be there with him. (When he is tired or in pain, he sometimes asks her to leave--which is hard for her.) His feeding tube is still working, and he even wore his hearing aid for a little while! :-)

Dad fairly comfortable today

2010-12-28T22:46:00.003-05:00

Mom and I are thanking God that Dad's feeding tube was able to be cleared last night, and that he remained fairly comfortable today with his pain meds.

Also, at the Care Plan meeting this morning, Dad's professional caregivers, Mom, and I were all in agreement about the matters that were discussed. Thanks for praying!

Dad resting with pain meds

2010-12-27T22:30:00.003-05:00

Dad's abdominal discomfort became unbearable today. The charge nurse contacted the staff physician to get a prescription for pain medication, but was told he would take care of it tomorrow--his office was closing early due to the snowstorm! So the nurse suggested that my mom call the doctor herself--a departure from Ledgeview's usual policy. My mom spoke to someone in the doctor's office and PLEADED that it not be left until tomorrow!!

The doctor did not call her back, but thankfully, he DID call in a prescription. Dad received both a shot of morphine for immediate relief, and also a "pain patch" that delivers a narcotic through the skin. The patch is supposed to be effective for up to 72 hours. So Dad was able to rest some this evening.

His feeding tube has another blockage, after only a week. When they tried to clear it this afternoon, it was hurting him, so they gave up the attempt until he got his new medications. The nurse was planning to try again tonight, which is likely to wake him up. :-( But if they can't clear it, that means a trip to the hospital in the morning to replace it. We are really hoping that won't be necessary, because the transfers and ride over bumpy roads would be really rough for him at this point.

Mom and I have a bi-monthly Care Plan meeting scheduled tomorrow morning with Dad's care team. (I'll participate via phone.) We would really appreciate your prayers for wisdom as we all seek to do what is best for Dad.

Difficult Days

2010-12-26T23:44:00.002-05:00

This Christmas season has been poignant for us. We realize it is likely the last one that we celebrate with my Dad on this earth.

Dad received some special gifts on Christmas Eve from our dear friends the Melvins. They brought him a throw with a kitty design on it, and shirts they had printed with his train photographs. So thoughtful!!

Dad did not want to open any gifts on Christmas, so Mom waited until today to bring him the others, hoping that he might be feeling better. But he wasn't, so she opened and showed them to him. A few of them got a positive response. :-)

Dad's abdominal discomfort and nausea have increased significantly in the last several days, and his stomach is no longer draining freely. He is starting to express his pain more often. Mom tries to enter his room wearing a smile. She says that occasionally he will give her a small smile in return, but not often. We are praying for comfort, courage and strength for them both.

Lois has tickets to come with baby Daniel from Ecuador January 14-28. We are praying that Dad will be able to visit with her, but also that he will not suffer long. We trust God's timing for his Homegoing to be perfect.

Good news (we hope)

2010-12-16T10:50:00.003-05:00

Thanks for continuing to pray for my parents. Dad has been "up and down." Some days he stays in bed all day, but other days he gets up and walks--one day he even walked to the apartment, sat down in a KITCHEN CHAIR and visited for a half-hour! That's the first time he has sat in a "normal" chair in 2 1/2 months.

On Monday, Dec. 13 Dad received his new hearing aid, which he is happy about. Monday was also ANOTHER trip to the hospital with a blocked feeding tube. The tubes are supposed to last a year, but his has needed changing six times since September, when his care team has been unable to clear the blockages. (Several blockages have been able to be cleared.) They don't know why it becomes clogged so frequently.

Mom got good news this morning. The nursing home administrator told her that if she applies for Maine Medicaid right away, it will probably begin covering Dad's care immediately when his Medicare runs out on Dec. 25! This would allow her to keep more of their savings than we had previously thought--which would be a blessing.

So now Mom is torn between wanting to work on mailing Christmas cards, and hunting for documents needed for the Medicaid application. I told her to focus on the application, because everyone will still love her if they get a card from her in January! :-)

HOLDING

2010-12-05T21:40:00.005-05:00

Good news--at my dad's monthly weigh-in, he is HOLDING at 145, about the same as last month!

The last couple of days have been difficult though, because they are keeping Dad's drainage tube closed longer, so his stomach can HOLD his medicine long enough to absorb it. He quickly becomes very uncomfortable with it closed. Mom is planning to talk with the charge nurse tomorrow about whether the benefits of the medication are worth the discomfort.

Lois & baby Daniel's plans for a visit are on HOLD at the moment. They have both been ill with a serious cough. Lois also has Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in her wrists. I believe she is planning to seek medical treatment for that when she comes to the States.

We are thankful that God is HOLDING us in His hand!

"If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me."
Psalm 139:9-10

Comfortable and Contented

2010-12-01T14:29:00.002-05:00

Dad has been doing really well for the past week or so! He seems comfortable and contented, which is a great answer to prayer, for his sake as well as Mom's.

Mom chose to spend Thanksgiving day with Dad, declining other invitations because she said this might be the last one she will have with him. Ledgeview delivered a nice dinner for both of them to his room, and he was able to eat half a piece of lemon meringue pie!! That is the only solid food he's eaten since his surgery.

We were able to connect with Mom via Skype on Thanksgiving Day. As we talked, she could see us in Florida on her computer screen, and we could see her. Technology is so wonderful for long-distance families!! She asked Dad if he felt up to visiting their apartment so he could see us on the computer too, but he was too tired. :-(

However, Dad has been able to walk a bit. Yesterday he walked to their apartment (about 40 feet) and stayed for 45 minutes! He did get a ride back in the chair and went straight to bed afterward though. :-) He sleeps much of the time.

Lois is still working through governmental red tape in Ecuador to bring baby Daniel for a visit. It looks like it may be right after Christmas.

Hoping to Hear

2010-11-22T21:32:00.002-05:00

Dad & Mom rode in the wheelchair van to the "hearing aid doctor" today and ordered a new hearing aid for Dad. Mom said he was surprised by how much it cost. :-) (Mom wasn't.) It should be here in 2-3 weeks. We pray that it will work well for Dad and enable him to participate more fully in conversations with those who come to visit him. If so, then it is well worth the cost.

Dad walked by himself today!!

2010-11-18T20:52:00.003-05:00

Dad continues to do quite well! Mom said that when he needed to get to the bathroom today, and the nurse did not respond to his call quickly enough, he decided to get there on his own--and he made it, using his walker!!

He did have help getting back to bed, and also for another walk in the hall. He sat up for awhile today too. And they have made an appt. for him to see an audiologist on Monday, to get a hearing aid to replace the one that got broken in October.

Sadly, his eating has not improved. He still can't eat solid food, and is having trouble swallowing even the nutritional shakes. So although he is stronger, there doesn't seem to be any prospect of removing the feeding tube--which would be necessary for him to go home.

The biggest blessing right now is that Dad is in good spirits for the most part. That is an answer to prayer, because we want him to be happy and content. Also, it makes the situation so much easier on Mom!!

Re-energized

2010-11-11T20:56:00.002-05:00

Mom reports that Dad was up walking in the hall today!!!! First time in a couple of weeks. Aunt Becky, Mom's sister, was in the same facility after a hospitalization, and she went home today. So Dad asked when it would be his turn to go home.

Mom told him she wasn't sure, and reminded him of the feeding tube. But he seemed motivated by the thought, because he also drank his entire 4-oz. nutritional shake at lunch!! I think that's the first time he's done that.

Mom's sinus inflammation has also improved. The x-rays showed no infection. So she plans to keep taking her new medicine and pray it continues to work!

Overall, it was a good day. Mom sounded amazed as she told me, "See, good things DO still happen!!"

An eventful weekend

2010-11-09T22:19:00.002-05:00

Sorry I haven't checked in for a few days. Our son Evan (9) broke his arm last Friday; fell off a swing at the school playground. So he and I spent the weekend in the hospital. He had orthopedic surgery at Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children in Orlando on Saturday, and came home Sunday evening. He's now on the couch, with arm elevated, being waited on hand & foot.

We hope he'll feel like doing some schoolwork tomorrow. We go back on Thursday to get his cast put on, and maybe he can go to school on Friday.

We are so thankful that Grandma & Grandpa Corbett were here and willing to help with our other two kids so Jack could come to the hospital. And our friends have been great, expressing their concern and bringing treats! :-)

Back in Maine, Mom reports that Dad has been doing fairly well. He's been sitting up some, and visited the apartment for almost an hour yesterday afternoon. However when he got back to his room, his feeding tube was blocked again and he was scheduled to go to the hospital this morning to have it replaced.

Mom's sinuses are still bothering her terribly, with no answer in sight. They were x-rayed yesterday. She also had an eye appt. where she learned she has cataracts, but they have to get worse before they can be removed.

Dad needs encouragement

2010-11-03T23:27:00.002-04:00

Mom was in tears yesterday. Dad told her he was moving back to the apartment--a misunderstanding. He was going to VISIT the apartment. When Mom reminded him she could not care for him at home, he grew very morose and made some remarks that saddened her. She tried to encourage him with reminders of Heaven, but she blamed herself that he was discouraged.

Dad did get to visit the apartment for awhile yesterday, which made two days in a row that he was sitting up for awhile! Today, however, he stayed in bed all day. His attitude was better, though.

He is asking about getting another hearing aid. His got broken several weeks ago. When he went to bed, it was in its case on the table beside the bed. In the morning, the case and half of the hearing aid were missing and the other half was found on the floor with wires sticking out. Probably an employee knocked it down, stepped on it, tried to cover it up by throwing it away, but overlooked a piece. The nursing home said they would file an insurance claim, but such losses are not usually covered.

Anyway, we had made an appointment for Dad with a hearing aid provider, but then we canceled it when it seemed like it would be too much for him. He hadn't mentioned it, and he can hear voices close to his right ear, so we thought that was sufficient. But since he is asking now, Mom wants to see about a replacement.

We are going to let the house in Gorham go unheated this winter. Last year it stayed heated to 45 degrees or so, but the heating oil just ran out. I didn't think to check the gauge when I was there last week. Our wonderful neighbor, Jim, who has been handling the snow plowing, winterized the pipes so it should be ok to freeze. That will save a lot of money, as the house is not well insulated.

As always, thanks for your friendship and prayers! We appreciate it very much.

More Alert Today :-)

2010-11-01T17:33:00.002-04:00

Mom said Dad was awake more today than he has been for several days. He sat up in the chair for over an hour this morning, and when she brought him the newspaper, he looked at the first AND last pages of the front section! When I was visiting, he never did more than glance at the headlines.

Mom brought Josey to visit him this morning too. This afternoon the nurse was planning to bring him to visit the apartment. Mom wasn't sure it would happen though, because Dad was sleeping, and because the nurses were busy with a new patient being admitted.

Overall, it was an encouraging day. :-)

Sleeping More

2010-10-31T15:30:00.002-04:00

From Mom yesterday:

"This has been a busy day for me: vacuuming living room, dusting a bit, etc. I was trying to get the apartment ready for a larger rolling chair. The nurse thought they could bring Dad over in that recliner chair.
"As it turned out, Dad was not in the mood with enough energy to come out today. So we will try another day."

Mom also shared that there is improvement in both Dad's pressure sore and the inflammation around his feeding tube. That is encouraging, as both of those cause discomfort. While I was there, they gave him a "low-air-loss" mattress, designed to relieve pressure sores.

From Mom this afternoon:

"Dad is wanting to sleep much more. The nurse said that he asked to be allowed to sleep, and not get out of bed so far today. He did not wake up as she rinsed his feeding tube this afternoon. When I have been in to visit twice this afternoon, he has been sleeping.
"The nurse also mentioned that she notices that Dad is slipping. I told her that I was praying that he would not linger. She said maybe he will go in his sleep when the time is come. With Dad's heart still in good shape, it may be that the cancer is after one of his organs. I don't know."

Lois has canceled her speaking engagement for next weekend. We are trusting God to get her here when the time is right.

About the same

2010-10-28T22:00:00.005-04:00

Tuesday was a busy day. The aides brought Dad in his wheelchair to visit Mom in the apartment for about 20 minutes! :-) He said he remembered living there. He petted Josey, their cat, and smiled as he watched her play with a string.

Also on Tuesday morning, a notary public came to the nursing home from the town office, and Dad was able to sign some necessary documents. But it was extremely hard and stressful . . . hard for him to hear us explain what the papers were, hard for him to understand, hard to get him and the table positioned properly, hard for him to write because his hand shakes so badly. He was exhausted afterward. Mom and I decided we will not put him through that ordeal again. She has his POA in her purse now, so she can sign things for him.

On Tuesday afternoon, I had to say goodbye. That was difficult. However, the car was fixed in the nick of time. Thank the Lord. I got to spend some time with my sister-in-law Kathie before she took me to the airport. The trip back to Florida went smoothly, and it was good to get back to Jack and our children.

Dad had to go to the hospital yesterday morning because his feeding tube came out again. Once it was reinserted and he got back to the nursing home, he slept most of the day.

Today he has slept a lot also. Mom said he was awake for only two visits, less than 10 minutes each. Once she carried Josey in so he could pet her. The nurses put him on his side because he has a bad pressure sore, but he keeps turning back to sleep on his back. Mom and I are glad when he can sleep, because then he is not suffering.

Lois is trying to get her visa. She has to go to Quito for it, and plans to fly there since it is an 8-hour drive each way. The first available flight is next Friday. She requests prayer that she will be able to get the visa that day.

Thank you for remembering our family and lifting us to God in prayer. We are thankful for God's promise in His Word that we will have eternity together, with the Lord. "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

An Outing for Dad

2010-10-25T19:27:00.002-04:00

Dad bundled up and went out into the chilly air this afternoon, as he had an appointment with Dr. Neilson, the surgeon who did his stomach operation on Sept. 5. Mom and I accompanied him, riding along on the wheelchair van. Dr. Neilson was hoping that his tubes could be removed, but when we explained that A. Dad gets very UNcomfortable whenever the stomach (drainage) tube is clamped, and B. he doesn't want to eat anything and what goes into his stomach seems to be unable to pass to his intestine, he agreed that both tubes should stay to keep Dad comfortable.

Dad enjoyed the opportunity to see some different scenery, and he actually smiled when he saw small children at the doctor's office. "Little ones have a charm all their own, don't they?" he commented. That's as long a speech as he has made all week.

His back started hurting as we waited for the van to return, and he was very uncomfortable on the ride home. He was visibly relieved to get back in bed, and went to sleep immediately.

Dad enjoyed a visit this afternoon with dear friends George and Kathy. They have been such a blessing to our family!!

Mom's sinuses have not improved, so she is hoping that something else can be done to help that situation.

I (Alice) need to travel back to Florida tomorrow evening. There are still a few arrangements to finish in the morning. Mom & I would really appreciate your prayers that we will not forget anything that needs doing! :-) Also, that the car's ignition (which, it turns out, has been recalled) will be fixed in time to return it to Scott & Tracy tomorrow afternoon.

Lois is making plans to come soon. They are trying to get baby Daniel's passport . . . everything takes longer in Ecuador.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Good News

2010-10-22T22:49:00.002-04:00

Thankfully, after seeing some documentation I found online, Ledgeview has agreed to continue billing Medicare for Dad's remaining 64 days of Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) coverage!! Praise God. At $182.00 per day, this will save my parents $11,648.00.

Dad visited with us this morning for about 20 minutes before wanting to sleep. He enjoyed seeing pictures of Lois' family in Ecuador that she had e-mailed last night.

Mom & I had several errands to do today. Mom went to the doctor for a cold that has lasted three weeks, and was diagnosed with sinus inflammation.

We did walk down to visit Dad several times later in the day, but he was sleeping each time.

Mom & I enjoyed dinner at a restaurant with Jane & Danny, Betty, and Stephen & Angie tonight! The owner of the restaurant is a Christian, and has built a testimonial rock fireplace that he gives a little speech to customers about if they are interested. He built crosses into it, and phosphorescent rocks that spell "I AM" (one of God's names) under black light. The rocks are from many countries around the world, including one from the Sea of Galilee. It is great.

Decisions Today

2010-10-21T22:04:00.002-04:00

I arrived in southern NH and drove to Maine yesterday afternoon, delighted to be in still-beautiful New England in autumn. So thankful for the friends who made it possible for me to come.

When Mom & I hugged it was pretty emotional, but after recovering from that, we went straight down the hall to see Dad. His eyes were closed, but he woke right up and was happy to see us. I gave him a kiss and he rubbed the stubble on his cheek self-consciously. He always liked to be clean-shaven.

After a short visit, he wanted to go back to sleep. Ten minutes is about all he can handle at one time now.

This morning was our meeting with Dad's care team. He was invited to participate, but declined because he can't hear. His hearing aid mysteriously got broken about two weeks ago. Ledgeview is filing a claim with their insurance, but doesn't think it will be covered. :-( They also promised to track down who was on duty that night.

Mom and I got a comprehensive report on Dad's condition. He is declining. Today was his last day of PT and OT, because he has lost so much strength and stamina. The therapy is a major ordeal, which is justifiable IF it is going to result in improved quality of life. But that is not the case with Dad. So, as the OT therapist said, "We're not into torture. Let's let him be comfortable."

Another significant factor is his weight loss. He was admitted to Ledgeview on Sept. 17 at 165. On October 1, he was down to 147, despite receiving full nutrition through the feeding tube.

The big decision before us is how Dad's care should be administered and paid for. His feeding tube qualifies him for Medicare Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) coverage in the nursing home for 65 more days. We had considered initiating Medicare's Hospice coverage now, hoping it would pay for part of the nursing home care. But we were told today that it would not.

So, we will request that Ledgeview bill Medicare for the remaining 65 days of SNF coverage. After that, Mom will need to pay for it. She could not possibly care for him at home, even with Hospice assistance--it is not comprehensive enough.

Dad has been asking, "When can I go home?" The answer has been "When you get strong enough." But we decided today to tell him honestly that he has cancer (he had been told, but didn't remember) and that it looks like the Lord will be taking him Home soon. He did not respond. I asked what he thought about that, and he said, "I don't know what to think." I tried to encourage him with some thoughts about how wonderful Heaven will be. Please pray for him to have hope and peace.

Mom is doing well. Dad is uncomfortable and unhappy, and she wants him released from his prison. I'm doing pretty well most of the time. Lois is planning to bring baby Daniel (5 months) and come for a short visit sometime in the next few weeks also.

Thank you for thinking of us and praying for us. We very much need God's wisdom and strength! How we praise Him for His goodness that we can always depend on, no matter the storms of life.

A Whirlpool Bath!!

2010-10-16T09:29:00.002-04:00

I have to confess that I found Mom's report yesterday slightly amusing, although I'm sure poor Dad didn't. Dad got a whirlpool bath!! Unlike most people, it was traumatic for him. Dad has always taken "scrub baths." Whether this was because of a compulsion to conserve water, or just an aversion to immersion, I don't know. He never went swimming either. But yesterday, he indignantly told Mom, "I was up to my NECK!!!"

When the aides brought Dad his liquid supper last night, they asked him if he wanted to sit up. He said no, but Mom said yes, and he was overruled!! He sat up for about an hour and 40 minutes. :-)

The word back from the charge nurse is that according to the doctor, hospice is an option. However, no decisions will be made until our meeting next Thursday morning with Dad's care team. Please pray for Mom and I to have God's wisdom and clear direction. Thanks so much!!

Charting a Plan

2010-10-14T22:00:00.003-04:00

Right now I am so thankful for the Medicare training I received when working as a coordinator with NH's SHIP program!! It is coming in very handy.

Mom and I will meet with the Ledgeview social worker, Brenda, next Thursday, Oct. 21. That is when Dad's physical therapy is scheduled to end, due to his lack of potential for further progress. The PT qualified Dad for Medicare coverage of his SNF nursing home stay, so if he is to remain in the nursing home, we either need another qualifying criterion (such as the feeding tube), or Mom will have to start paying $187.00 per day.

HOWEVER, Dad wants to go home. So it seems that the best option is Medicare's Hospice coverage, which would pay for a hospital bed and all needed caregivers to come into their apartment. It would be nice to have a seamless transition from Medicare SNF to Medicare Hospice, so that Mom wouldn't have to pay out-of-pocket for even one day.

Before hospice can start, Dad's doctor has to certify him as terminally ill. That needs to happen ASAP for him to go home next week, because a hospital bed has to be ordered for the apartment. Ledgeview requests that communication with the doctor go through the charge nurse, so I spoke to the nurse on duty, and she promised to ask the doctor about the certification. We are hoping for an answer from him tomorrow.

Please pray for God to direct Mom and me, and Dad's care team, to the best possible solution for Dad's comfort as well as Mom and Dad's financial situation--and ultimately, for God's glory.

I'll leave you with a bit of medical trivia I learned today. Dad's feeding tube is a jejunostomy tube (J-tube), because it goes into the part of the small intestine called the jejunum. Fascinating, huh??

Hospital Visit Today

2010-10-12T23:08:00.002-04:00

Mom still has her cold, so she spent the morning at home. But around 2 pm, a nurse came to tell her that Dad was being taken to the hospital for another blocked feeding tube. They invited her to ride along, cold and all, so she went.

Instead of trying to clear the blockage, the surgeon just replaced the feeding tube. When Mom told him that Dad's liquid diet doesn't seem to be digesting, he ordered a dye test x-ray. It didn't show any internal blockage, which was encouraging. But it doesn't explain why his stomach is not digesting the liquid diet, or why he continues to lose weight.

I'm going up a week from tomorrow! Can't wait to see them. As always, we appreciate your prayers for peace and wisdom.

Another wrinkle

2010-10-11T22:04:00.002-04:00

Poor Mom has caught a cold. :-( So she didn't really visit Dad today. He was sleeping when she poked her head into his room this afternoon, so she just wrote him a note that she had a cold and didn't want to give it to anyone.

I suggested that she might ask about trying a short visit tomorrow with a face mask, so he could see her for a little while anyway. Dad isn't big on socializing, but he is much more content when she is in the room, even though they don't talk much. That's how it has been for the last forty years. :-)

Somewhat better day

2010-10-10T21:50:00.002-04:00

A bit of relief today. Mom said they opened the drainage tube off and on to relieve Dad's discomfort. I'm glad. I'm sure he was too.

He sat up for about 45 minutes this afternoon before wanting to get back in bed, and they let him. Sounds like it was a quiet, non-eventful day for him. Nice to have those occasionally.

It's Tube Bad

2010-10-09T20:23:00.003-04:00

Sorry about the awful pun in the title. (Wait, no I'm not. :-) Mom said today was very difficult for Dad, because the doctor ordered that his drainage tube remain shut off for the whole day, hoping that his stomach will adjust.

The result was severe discomfort and repeated vomiting. Yet, this evening when Mom left, the drainage tube was STILL shut off. Mom and I are hoping that the doctor, who sees the nursing home patients all of once a month, will read the nurses' notes and come to the conclusion that it might be a good idea to leave the drainage tube on, so Dad can be a little more comfortable!!!! I know the doctor means well, but please, if it's not working, let's make some adjustments.

So I guess today's biggest prayer requests are 1. God's hand of comfort for Dad, 2. wisdom for the doctor, and 3. patience for the rest of us!

Gonna be heading North! :-)

2010-10-08T23:37:00.003-04:00

Mom was able to get out and about for awhile this morning. Aunt Betty took her to do a few errands, including a bit of early Christmas shopping!! "I had fun," she told me. :-)

She reports that Dad had a "pretty good" day today too, though there is still discomfort in his abdomen. Each day, they close off the drainage tube from his stomach for several hours at a time, to see if his stomach can handle it. So far, it can't. Mom asked the doctor if they planned to take any more "pictures" (x-rays or scans) to see what the cancer is doing, and the doctor said no, because the results would not change the treatment plan.

Dad took two fairly long walks today, and drank 4 oz. of apple juice. Both good things!! He also sat up for five hours this afternoon, which was painful due to his pressure sore. He would like to get back into bed sooner, but sometimes has to wait awhile until the nurses can help him.

Mom carried Josey, their cat, in her arms to visit Dad again. This was the third or fourth such visit, and Josey is now accustomed to it and staying calm and relaxed. :-) That pleases both Mom & Dad. Aunt Betty offered to push Dad in the wheelchair to their apartment for a return visit to Josey, but Dad hasn't felt up to that.

God has provided tickets for me to come up to Maine from Oct. 20-26! Thanks, George and Kathy. God has also provided the use of a car--thanks, Scott and Tracy! I'm always amazed and thankful how He works things out. It will be great to be with Mom & Dad for even a little while.

Helping Mom

2010-10-07T22:31:00.002-04:00

Wanted to share with all you faithful friends that are caring and praying, that this has been the most difficult week for Mom since Dad's ordeal began. She was summoned to meet with the facility's social worker to discuss Dad's progress and plans for future care.

One thing Mom learned distressed her greatly. I wish I had told her sooner, because I knew it from my Medicare training. It is this: Medicare will cover Dad's nursing home care for up to 100 days, but ONLY as long as he continues to make progress with his therapy. When his therapists feel he has come as far as is possible, Medicare coverage will cease. Thankfully, that point has not yet been reached. Dad has made good progress in his walking over the past couple of weeks. But whether he will gain enough strength to go home is still very doubtful.

If Dad has to go from "Skilled Nursing" (therapy) to "custodial care" in the nursing home, Mom will start having to pay about $5,000 a month. Their savings will be gone within a year. So the social worker gave Mom a Medicaid application, the size and scope of which was completely overwhelming to her. It also requires financial documentation back to 2008, which will take considerable effort to locate, due to Mom being "organizationally challenged."

So . . . I am planning to go to Maine soon, for about a week, to help Mom. I'm looking at the week of Oct. 17. Would appreciate prayer that God would help me find the cheapest flights! :-) Mom insisted on sending a check for the ticket. She doesn't want to be a burden. But she seems greatly relieved just to know that I'm coming.

There is another possibility that I hope to discuss with Dad's doctor when I am up there. When Dad's Medicare Skilled Nursing coverage ends, if his doctor certifies that he is considered terminally ill with less than six months expected to live, he would qualify for Medicare's Hospice benefit. If so, that would pay for his care. The care must be given at home, because it doesn't cover room and board; but all the caregivers needed to help Mom would be covered.

Quick update on Dad's physical condition: (if you're still reading--this is a long one!) The Ledgeview doctor, who visits the patients once a month, saw Dad today for the first time, and was concerned that the nutritional liquid being delivered through the feeding tube doesn't seem to be moving to the small intestine as it should. A drainage tube is still present (that caused nausea when it was shut off a couple of days ago), and more liquid is still draining than should be.

Another obstacle is that a pressure sore has re-opened, making it very painful for Dad to sit up. He was only able to sit up for an hour at a time today.

So . . . we continue to commit my parents to our heavenly Father and trust Him to work everything out. We appreciate your thoughts, and ask for your prayers for wisdom and guidance and strength!

Tough evening

2010-10-05T23:16:00.002-04:00

Dad had a difficult time with nausea this evening. Seems that a drainage tube had been shut off, and as a result, his poor stomach had more than it could handle.

When I spoke to Mom around 7 pm, she was exhausted. One of the nurses told her that when Dad was sitting in his chair, she could wheel him to their apt. to visit Josey. But tonight that sounded like an insurmountable task, that would take more energy than she could summon. So she had gone home to go to bed.

This is one of those times when I wish I were closer. I could push Dad to visit Josey . . . maybe someone else can help do that. And maybe Mom will feel stronger tomorrow.

Another trip to l'hôpital

2010-10-03T21:55:00.002-04:00

Dad's feeding tube came completely out of his abdomen yesterday evening, precipitating an ambulance ride about 6 pm. The tube was replaced with a new one with a larger diameter, which the nurses like, because it is less prone to blockage. Dad handled the whole thing quite calmly, according to Mom. :-) She went along with him, and they got back to Ledgeview about 11 pm.

Today he had another good day. He sat up for at least six hours this afternoon! He did tell Mom that his stomach felt "strange" and that it was bothering him, but not painful. So we hope that tomorrow it will be back to "normal"--the new normal!

Two good days!

2010-10-02T18:13:00.003-04:00

Friday and Saturday have been good days for Dad. :-) On Friday, he had a trip to the hospital because his feeding tube got blocked, but the doctor was able to correct it. Mom said the doctor was annoyed because he thought the nurses at Ledgeview could have handled it . . . oh well!!!

Dad has been sitting up a LOT more -- 6 to 8 hours total. And he is gaining strength: Friday he walked about 80 feet, and today he got up from his chair and back into bed with only minimal help from the nurses. Thanks for your prayers on his behalf!

He is drinking small portions of his liquid diet. Yesterday he drank about 1/2 of his strawberry shake, and today he had 4 oz. of apple juice. He is still getting 75 ml/day through the tube.

Mom took Josie, their beloved cat, to visit him yesterday. And today he enjoyed a visit from our good friends, Pastor Cleo & Shirley Winningham. Pastor W. was our pastor in Gorham in the 1980's.

Nice to have some good days! Thanks to his caregivers and to the Lord!!

Dr. Visit today

2010-09-30T23:18:00.002-04:00

Dad got to see beautiful Maine autumn colored leaves during a ride in a wheelchair van today, to a follow-up appointment with the surgeon who operated on him. The doctor was pleased--he had not been sure Dad would survive this long after the surgery. Dad was encouraged by the visit. He hadn't eaten anything this week until tonight, when he drank several ounces of his nutrition shake for dinner! :-)

It has been an "up-and-down" week for him, with some days stronger than others. He's been sitting up at least an hour on most days, to keep him from getting pneumonia. His therapists are also trying to build up his strength with walking and other exercises for his legs and arms. They had him remove his own shirt yesterday, which he managed, although with great difficulty.

He continues to be fed through the feeding tube. That is going directly into his small intestine, as the stomach continues to heal from the surgery.

On another note, my sister Lois texted me that there was an attempted coup in Ecuador today, and the situation is quite unstable this evening. They are staying indoors, because the police are on strike and it is not safe to be out. So she has asked for prayer for peace.

Thanks!!

Pretty Good Day

2010-09-22T17:23:00.002-04:00

Dad drank about 4 oz. of a nutritious strawberry shake at lunch today! This is in addition to 75 ml/hr. through his feeding tube.

Dad was sitting in a wheelchair when Mom got there late this morning. (She had a dr. appt. of her own earlier in the day.) Mom is going to see if he could be wheeled to their apt. for a short visit with Josey (their cat). Dad loves Josey, and that prospect would be motivational for him.

Dad has been a little confused; he asked Mom when they would be moving to Ledgeview. Mom explained to him that they were already there, just living in different wings of the building at the moment. He seemed to understand, but she's not sure if he'll remember.

Interestingly, after complaining about the TV that his roommate watches, Dad has been watching it occasionally! Mom said he seemed interested in a cooking show today, and even put his hearing aid in. :-)

There was no problem with nausea today, and the best news is that he was in good spirits! We are so grateful for that.

Not feeling so well today

2010-09-21T21:11:00.002-04:00

Mom said Dad didn't feel very well today; he was experiencing some nausea. The doctor plans to address it with medication, because they want to maintain his feeding tube volume.

Not much exercise today. Mom says Dad is tired, and "tired of being sick." His temp. and blood pressure were good though.

Still in good spirits on Monday

2010-09-21T11:34:00.002-04:00

I'm pleased that Mom has been taking some time to herself. On Sunday she went to church in the morning and "Singspiration" in the evening, and last night she went to the historical society meeting and supper. She needs to do things like that to stay refreshed.

Dad's still receiving all his nutrition through the feeding tube. They have gradually increased the volume he is receiving, and when it has been at a certain level for enough time, they plan to cut it back and encourage him to eat.

He was able to walk to the bathroom and back yesterday with his walker and two aides assisting him. He also sat up for awhile yesterday morning, but stayed in bed all afternoon. Mom says he is "weary," but his attitude is good. That is such an answer to our prayers. My longing for him is to feel God's peace.

Saturday was rough, Sunday better

2010-09-19T21:20:00.003-04:00

Mom shared yesterday that Dad's first full day at Ledgeview was pretty rough. He is having to figure out how to handle some things that are different from when he was in the hospital, and it didn't always go smoothly. Consequently he was quite upset and discouraged yesterday.

HOWEVER . . . today was better!! And his spirits are better. He says he doesn't like the TV that his roommate watches, but Mom says his eyes often follow it. He doesn't care for sports, but there was a show about dogs that he liked.

He is still getting nourishment through his feeding tube and not wanting to eat. Not even a "pumpkin pie" milkshake tempted him today.

However, Mom said his legs seemed a little stronger. That is encouraging!! Thanks to all of you who are caring and praying.

Change of Scenery

2010-09-17T16:53:00.002-04:00

Dad was released from the hospital today, and admitted to Ledgeview Nursing Home's Skilled Nursing Facility--Room 204. A few of the needles and tubes were removed, but they left the feeding tube for now. Since he's no longer on IV nutrition, we're hoping he will get hungrier. Today at lunch he had a few sips of root beer. That diet won't be adequate for long. :-)

After arriving at the nursing home, he was transferred to a wheelchair and taken to be weighed. Once he got back to his room, he was exhausted, and they let him stay in bed rather than trying to sit up in the chair. Mom said he had a good long nap this afternoon.

His roommate, Eli (who Aunt Betty knows--he lives near her), likes to watch TV. My parents have never wanted a TV, so dad is thankful that he has a removable hearing aid. :-)

Mom said that Dad's spirits are good! I'm sure the change of scenery is welcome for him.

Getting out of the hospital tomorrow!

2010-09-16T22:18:00.002-04:00

Mom reported this afternoon that Dad seemed stronger on his short walk from bed to chair today. He will be discharged TOMORROW to Ledgeview Nursing Home for skilled care/therapy.

Mom & Dad's apt. at Ledgeview Living Center is in the very same building!! So Mom won't need a ride to visit Dad anymore. :-) He is hoping to see their cat, Josey. So Mom plans to take her to visit Dad as soon as possible. :-) I hope the nursing home staff allows it. Many health care institutions now recognize the benefits of permitting animals to visit, and some even have resident pets.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers as Mom & Dad adjust to another new situation. Please pray for Dad's therapy . . . that he will be willing to work at it, that his therapists will know how far to push him, and that he and Mom will continue to feel God's peace in their hearts.

Update from Mom Ames (slightly edited and abridged :-)

2010-09-15T22:37:00.003-04:00

Mom e-mailed an update this evening. I don't think she'd mind if I share it:

"Dad's spirits are up tonight after a very difficult day. Dr. Medd (Dad's PCP) came in. He had ordered a CT Scan this morning of Dad's stomach, to see if things are working well. Dad did not feel very well the last couple of days - or this morning. His feeding tube got plugged again. Several nurses tried over and over this morning to get it unplugged.

"The evening nurse came in about 4:30 PM. She got the feeding tube unplugged--after all of those tries by so many nurses before. It was her 3rd try to get it, but she did !!!!! Her name is Jill - and she is a Christian. Really sweet nurse.

"Dr. Medd came in this evening, went to the nurse's station to get the report from the CT scan, and came back to tell us the good news. Everything is working well - and NO SURPRISES APPEARING. (Note: Mom is referring to new cancer growth.) Dr. Medd was very pleased, and wants to have Dad try eating tomorrow--custard, etc.

"After Dr. Medd left, Dad asked me what Dr. Medd said. So I repeated the conversation, and Dad was so glad, and 'Praise the Lord' was his comment. Indeed, we do PRAISE THE LORD that nothing is causing a problem at the present time. That is a great relief to my mind for sure.

"So, it may be that Dad will be moved into the Ledgeview Nursing Home for 'skilled care' after a few more days. I will have news on that as time goes on."

Better, still weak

2010-09-14T17:44:00.004-04:00

When I called Mom for the afternoon update, she didn't feel that Dad had a very good day; she said his blood pressure was low (80/50) and he was very weak. His walk from the bed to the chair was very difficult, and he only sat up for an hour.

To look on the bright side . . . he WAS able to walk from the bed to the chair (with a lot of help) and he sat up for a whole hour! :-) Gotta be grateful for the blessings. The best one was that he talked to me for a couple of minutes! He hadn't done that since last Friday.

Dad's feeding tube is once again operational for meds and liquid food. He has only had a few sips of water and ice chips by mouth since the feeding tube was replaced yesterday. IV nutrition continues also.

No discharge in sight, yet. We are so grateful for the good care Dad is receiving, with plenty of consideration for Mom's needs as well.

Daddy & his girls, 1976

Relief today

2010-09-13T17:00:00.002-04:00

We were glad to find out today that Dad's internal discomfort in the stomach area was due to a blockage in his feeding tube! The surgeon tried several times to dislodge the blockage but was unable to, so he replaced the tube. That procedure was done right in Dad's room; he didn't have to go to an operating room.

Since the tube was replaced, Dad has been feeling much better. :-) We hope that he will feel like eating a little bit of liquid food again tomorrow.

The Right Time

2010-09-12T22:02:00.002-04:00

Mom shared this evening that today Dad was very uncomfortable. His stomach hurts. Of course the incision site is painful, and he has a pillow to press against it when he coughs. But today he had significant internal discomfort also, and did not eat anything all day. He is still getting IV nutrition.

This makes three bad days in a row. So naturally we are increasingly concerned, and alert to the possibility that I/we may need to travel up there fairly soon. A number of arrangements will need to be made when that time comes, particularly for our children's schoolwork, and we desperately need wisdom to know the right time to go. Jack and I have tickets for a trip to Denver CO on Sept. 24-27, that were booked shortly before we learned how ill my dad was. My mom said today that she thinks we can wait until after that trip, but if necessary, we can cancel it and use the flight credits.

It is comforting to know that God has the right time prepared for Dad's departure. Mom said she is comforted by that also. As Dad repeated over and over today, "I'm so uncomfortable," she said she told the Lord that she knew He would do what is best.

Pastor Holliday, our dear friend who has been faithful to visit every few days, reported that while he was there today, whenever Mom or one of the hospital staff did anything for Dad, he said "thank you" every time. That always impressed me about Dad when I was growing up. After every dinner Mom cooked, he would take her hand, smile tenderly at her, and say "thank you, sweetheart."

Friday & Saturday

2010-09-12T16:56:00.003-04:00

Friday and Saturday were similar for Dad. He was able to walk a short distance both days, and eat a small amount of liquid food: chicken broth, chocolate drink, and his favorite, vanilla ice cream. A blessing is that he did not experience any nausea.

Friday he sat up more of the time, and talked to me briefly on the phone. Yesterday (Saturday) he stayed in bed all afternoon, and was too tired to talk when I called. Mom also sounded tired yesterday. I have not been able to reach her this afternoon. I'll keep trying and will post again later if there is more news.

"The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms..." Deuteronomy 33:27

Candid words from a caring doctor

2010-09-10T11:33:00.005-04:00

Mom called again last night to share that Dr. Medd, Dad's PCP, had told her that the cancer has spread well beyond the surgery site. They did the surgery in hopes of giving Dad some time, and will be giving him therapy for quality of life . . . but they are not recommending any other interventions.

We are grateful for Dr. Medd's honesty, caring and compassion. He did not mention any time frame; he said that he can't predict how the coming weeks and months will go. We are praying that Dad will remain as comfortable as possible, and we are going to be thankful for the blessing of each day God gives us.

"Do not boast about tomorrow,
For you do not know what a day may bring forth." (Proverbs 27:1)

Mom & Dad on their 40th wedding anniversary - May 24, 2009

More positive progress!

2010-09-09T16:46:00.004-04:00

Dad continued to improve today, with TWO walks--one halfway to the door and back, and the other almost to the door and back! He also sat in the chair most of the afternoon, wearing his glasses and reading a little bit of the newspaper. Railroad friends have brought picture books of trains, but he hasn't felt quite up to looking at those yet.

He has been able to drink water today, and even some root beer. However, his intestines still are not showing any sign of activity. :-( That is an important indicator that they are watching for. A pressure sore is also being treated.

Mom was there when the social worker/discharge planner asked Dad's nurse when he might be discharged. She said possibly Tuesday of next week, at the earliest.

Here is a photo of Dad with Danielle . . . several years ago. :-)

Getting better

2010-09-08T16:51:00.002-04:00

Dad is back in a "regular" room - #140, for anyone who wants to call or visit him. Today he put his hearing aid in (although he didn't want his false teeth or his glasses), and I got to talk to him on the phone for a few minutes! He sounded weak, but quite like himself. It was great. Afterward I heard him tell his nurse that I was Lois, so he was slightly confused, but close enough!

Mom said the nurse thinks they will try having Dad do a little walk tomorrow. The plan for when he leaves the hospital is to return to Ledgeview, but not to their apartment, at least not right away. He'll be receiving rehab therapy for awhile at Ledgeview's Skilled Nursing Facility.

It is possible, and we are hopeful, that he might regain enough strength to go home to their apartment in the Ledgeview Living Center. But if not, he would become a patient in the Long Term Care facility there at Ledgeview . . . what we think of as the "nursing home." This would be a difficult transition, but we are trying to prepare ourselves for that possibility. Mom has worked very hard to care for him in the last year, and it has often been difficult for her.

Again, we are thankful that Mom & Dad are in the Lord's loving hands. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!!

A Good Day!

2010-09-07T20:58:00.002-04:00

Mom reports that today was "a good day." It was so nice to hear her say that!! She said that Dad was in fairly good spirits, although he still isn't talking very much (not that he ever does) and didn't feel like having her read to him. His dry humor popped up when the nurse asked how his hands were doing. He said "Well, I can feel them."

He was bathed and shaved today. Mom said, "Wow, sweetheart, they've shined you right up! You must feel like a king!" Dad said, "Nooooo."

He is still in the ICU. There was some talk yesterday about moving him to a regular room today, but it didn't happen, and Mom's not sure what the holdup is. She thinks maybe it's because his blood pressure and heart rate are both quite low, but that is only a guess.

Mom plans to take his glasses and hearing aid when she goes tomorrow, hoping that will encourage him to stay awake a little more. They did get him moved to a chair for a few hours today . . . but he fell asleep in the chair too. :-)

Awake and Talking Today

2010-09-06T14:27:00.002-04:00

Mom says that Dad is fairly alert and talking today, although he's taken a number of naps. This afternoon the nurses have gotten him up from the bed to sit in a reclining chair for awhile, despite his protests. It is uncomfortable for him to move, but it is beneficial for both his lungs and his muscles.

Last night Dad had several episodes of irregular heartbeat, but today that seems to be under control. Mom did get home to sleep last night, but she wasn't able to get back as early as she wanted to this morning, so she may sleep on the couch in the ICU waiting room tonight.

Thank you all so much for caring and praying.

Dad made it through surgery

2010-09-05T17:30:00.003-04:00

Mom just called to say that Dad is out of surgery. He is in a lot of pain, so they are giving him something for that. The surgeon told her he removed a large tumor and some surrounding tissue . . . but was not able to get all the cancer. That was not unexpected.

Please pray for the Lord's comfort for them: physical for Dad, and emotional, mental & spiritual for both of them. Thank you so much.

Surgery today

2010-09-05T14:08:00.002-04:00

I just spoke with Mom, and she said that an ICU room had become available, and they would be coming soon to take Dad and prepare him for surgery. She said she feels God's sweet peace, for which we are grateful!!

Dad was disobeying orders today. They gave him wet sponges to moisten his mouth but told him not to swallow . . . well he wanted to swallow, and he did. :-) Who would have thought my dad, who never broke the speed limit, would be so rebellious! Mom said the nurse pretended she didn't see anything. :-)

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.

Surgery tomorrow (again)

2010-09-04T12:39:00.002-04:00

Turns out Dad's surgery won't be today after all, because the hospital doesn't have any open ICU beds. Now they are planning to do it tomorrow (Sunday). We don't know the time yet.

Mom is doing well. On the phone she sounds calm and strong, which we know is God's strength as a result of your prayers. THANK YOU !! We would appreciate prayer for wisdom to identify things Mom might need help with, that she might not think of or feel comfortable asking for. And also wisdom to know when I/we should make plans to go to Maine.

"The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms..." (Deuteronomy 33:27)

So it is cancer

2010-09-04T09:47:00.002-04:00

We found out this morning that Dad does have a large cancerous tumor in his stomach. The surgeon is planning to remove part of the stomach and intestine, and reconnect everything as best as he can.

They are not sure where the cancer originated or how far it has spread. We will know more after the surgery.

Thanks for praying for all of us.

Surgery tomorrow

2010-09-03T15:46:00.002-04:00

Dad's upper GI scope this morning showed that the passage from the stomach to the small intestine is completely blocked. The doctors are not sure if it is a tumor, or scar tissue from ulcers. They did a biopsy and expect the results tomorrow morning.

After the biopsy results are in, they are also planning surgery tomorrow to remove the blockage. (The surgeon told Mom that Dad's doctor used "special charm" to convince them to do the surgery on Saturday. :-) We are happy that Dad consented to surgery.

He still has a productive cough, so his lungs need clearing up also. Thanks for caring and praying!

Now It's Dad's Turn

2010-09-02T17:03:00.002-04:00

After a year of relatively stable health, my Dad (John) has taken a turn for the worse. He began having difficulty eating early in August, and finally it got so bad that he had a CT scan on August 30. The scan showed a blood clot in his lung and swelling in his stomach, and he was immediately hospitalized at Stephens Memorial in Norway ME.

Dad is on a blood thinner now, and an upper GI scope this morning showed that food has not been getting past his stomach for awhile. The reason for the blockage was not visible. They are going to do another scope tomorrow. Since the stomach has now been cleared, we hope the scope will be able to locate the source of the problem.

Another issue is his breathing. He has a bad cough and is on oxygen. Thankfully he is receiving IV nutrition, which should help to build his strength back up. He grew very frail during the last month of not being able to eat much.

It is so hard to be 1,400 miles away while this is going on. Our family and friends in Maine have been great about helping my mom during this time, with rides and making telephone calls. Thank you Aunt Jane, Aunt Betty, Uncle Ted, Debbie, Stephen, Pastor and Mrs. Tiner, and anyone I have missed.

As always, we appreciate your thoughts & prayers!

Hanging in there

2010-03-16T11:09:00.002-04:00

We are thankful for the Lord's continued care of Mom & Dad. They have adjusted to life at Ledgeview Living Center but still miss their home in Gorham. Thankfully their health is fairly stable, although they both have a long list of ailments. We are grateful for the help of friends and family in providing transportation for frequent doctor visits.

Our family (Jack, Alice & children) are planning a trip north this summer and are looking forward to seeing them--it will have been almost a year.

We pray that their house in Gorham will sell this summer, as the taxes and insurance are a financial burden for them.

Thanks for caring and praying.

First Christmas Apart

2009-12-28T10:45:00.002-05:00

Well, after 38 Christmases together, this was the first Christmas for me (Alice) apart from my parents. What a blessing that we were able to be together all those years!!

Modern technology is great. Our family in Florida has acquired a Webcam, and Mom was able to see us AND talk to us on Christmas Day. Lois has a Webcam in Ecuador too! We have decided that Skype is wonderful.

Mom and Dad's health is doing Ok. The pain in Dad's legs makes it difficult for him to get around much, but he and Mom were able to get to Aunt Betty's for Christmas dinner! She was also a big help for them in Christmas shopping. Thanks, Aunt Betty.

Things to be Thankful For

2009-11-20T12:05:00.003-05:00

We are thankful that Mom Ames' recent PET scan showed no signs of cancer! Also, she has been discharged from speech therapy. She does still have some ongoing health concerns and is having tests to try to determine the cause.

Dad Ames' ability to walk has deteriorated significantly. It is very difficult for him to even get around the apartment. Because walking is painful, he does as little as possible, which of course makes it worse--a "vicious cycle." His irritability takes an emotional toll on Mom at times also.

We are so thankful for family and friends who are close to Mom & Dad and able to help them. It is hard for Lois & I to both be so far away.

We really appreciate your continued prayer for God's grace and strength for Mom & Dad, and pray you have a Blessed Thanksgiving.

Hanging in there

2009-10-13T11:15:00.002-04:00

We are happy to report that Mom is noticing real improvement in her ability to communicate! She told me that she now feels confident enough to make business phone calls, something that has been difficult for her. It is hard when you just can't come up with the word(s) you need.

Also encouraging was the report from Mom's brain catheterization on Sept. 28, when her neurosurgeon looked at the area where she had her aneurysm a year ago, and reported that everything looks great!

Dad's health is stable at the moment too. His legs are staying clear of cellulitis, and his medication for Parkinson's is helping him be steadier in walking, using his hands etc.

It doesn't look like the house in Gorham is going to sell before winter. So we are planning to winterize it. We are so grateful for the good neighbors who have kept up the yard this summer!

Lois and Chris arrived safely back in Ecuador. However, the boxes they shipped are being held in Quito, pending their acquiring an "importer's license" - a new requirement they did not know about. Thanks for praying for them as they get settled, and that they can get their boxes soon.

Ameses here and there

2009-09-11T22:35:00.002-04:00

Greetings! Sorry it's been awhile since we've updated. Several have mentioned they still check this regularly--thanks for your interest, your patience and your prayers!!

The cellulitis in Dad's legs seems to be under control at the moment. He is still experiencing a lot of weakness and shakiness, which limits his activity. It is hard to put model trains on the track when your hand is shaking.

Tests show no sign of stroke. His neurologist has diagnosed him with Parkinson's, and he has begun taking medication to help control those symptoms.

Mom is seeing improvement in her ability to comprehend what she reads. She is so pleased, especially to read her Bible again.

Their house in Gorham is still for sale. We are thankful for wonderful neighbors; Susan who is keeping the lawn mowed, and Lucille who is keeping an eye on the place. Mom & Dad's homeowner insurance dropped them because the property is no longer owner-occupied, which caused them a lot of anxiety, especially because the realtor contract requires insurance coverage. Thankfully, their agent found a policy that covers vacant property. The premiums are rather expensive though.

I helped Mom submit a claim for her lengthy hospitalization last fall to an insurance policy that pays cash benefits to the patient, and this week she was thrilled to receive a check in the mail! That was a big blessing.

Lois and Chris and family spent August in Maine, much to Mom & Dad's delight. They put up more shelves in Mom & Dad's apt. and helped them organize more stuff; and Mom got to play with her grandchildren. Dad enjoyed them too!

Now Lois and Chris are in Florida, visiting us for a week! They have tickets to return to Ecuador at the end of September.

Please pray for Aunt Jane and Aunt Betty, who have been a great help to Mom and Dad with transportation and laundry. They are experiencing health challenges of their own and cannot be as available for the next few weeks. We are grateful for my cousin Stephen who is also helping a lot with errands.

God is good and faithful! We rest in His care and provision for all of us. Thank you so much for praying for our family.

2009-07-11T13:49:00.002-04:00

Thank you for praying for our family during the last few months of traveling, separation, and preparing the house in Gorham for sale! It has been challenging, and we couldn't have done it without your prayers and help. God gave wisdom and strength when needed. The house is 99% cleaned out, and family & friends have graciously agreed to get the rest.

The children and I spent several hours with Mom & Dad on Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning. We talked about the important things--realtor info, and how Heaven is our real home.

We flew home to FL on Wednesday evening. Evan & Regan sat in the last row of the plane, and Danielle and I sat in front of them. My seatmate, Bill, was a terminally ill alcoholic, thirsty to hear about God. Danielle and I read Scripture aloud to him for at least a half-hour, so the people in front of us heard it too!! :-) When we stopped he asked for more. He drank continuously throughout the flight, and by the end was quite fuzzy--he was sure that I was an angel. But he asked me to contact him with info on a good church in Daytona, where he would be visiting his daughter. Please pray for Bill.

My dad is battling cellulitis in his leg, requiring daily trips to the hospital for IV antibiotics. Mom feels she has to go with him, so she has missed many of her own appointments this week. It also means someone has to drive them. Dad is irritable about the whole thing, which is hard for Mom to deal with. So they need prayer too.

Chris and Lois are planning to be back in New England in August, and visit us in Florida in September!

Cleaning out

2009-06-19T18:43:00.002-04:00

The last few weeks, the cleaning-out process of Mom & Dad's house in Gorham has progressed steadily. My husband Jack and our children arrived on June 9 and Jack has been a great help. He is much better than I at staying focused on the task at hand and not getting distracted by reading all the fascinating things we find. :-)

Frankly, the situation is a strain on all of us. We would really appreciate your prayers. We are trying to spot items that Mom & Dad might want, particularly photos, and give those to them. However the sheer volume is staggering . . . boxes and boxes and boxes of photos. We have tried to sift through and take the "good" ones. This has not been satisfactory, as Mom wanted all those double prints and multiple similar photos to give to other people. (sigh) The problem is that their apt. simply does not have the space.

Mom has asked about other items as well, and it is hard to say, "Sorry Mom, that's gone." It is hard on her, because she feels that her home and possessions have been snatched away without her consent.

Tomorrow Jack and I and the children are going to Maine for Father's Day weekend. We will stay at Aunt Jane & Uncle Danny's farm Saturday night. Plans include a baby shower for my cousin's wife, eating out with Mom & Dad, and of course going to church with Mom on Sunday. Dad still hasn't gotten out to church.

Thanks so much for caring about our family! God is good. We need Him.

Happy 40th Anniversary, Mom & Dad

2009-05-24T22:16:00.000-04:00

We have been increasingly concerned about Dad, as he has seemed more frail in the last couple of weeks. Yesterday he didn’t even feel up to getting washed and dressed.

But today was better!! Mom and Dad had a lovely 40th wedding anniversary today, thanks to our dear friends George and Kathy Melvin. George and Kathy drove to West Paris ME this morning, as I was driving there from NH, and we all went to church with Mom.

After church we returned to Mom & Dad’s apartment and picked up Dad, and then George and Kathy took us to Portland! They had made reservations at DeMillo’s floating restaurant, and we had a table with a beautiful view of the harbor. As Dad watched the ships coming and going, he became more interested and alert than he has been in quite awhile. And Mom enjoyed it immensely as well. She has always loved the ocean.

After leaving the restaurant, we poked around Portland. We watched a crane unloading a barge, saw fishermen tending their nets, and stopped at the Portland Head lighthouse before heading back to West Paris.

It was a great day. We have much to be thankful for!

Settling In

2009-05-06T22:21:00.002-04:00

Mom and Dad are continuing to adjust to their new home. It has been a busy month with a number of doctor appointments in different places. We so appreciate those who have provided transportation for them.

Dad has been battling cellulitis in his legs, along with the pain caused by his spinal stenosis. He had a steroid shot in hopes of some relief, but unfortunately it did not help.

Mom saw a neurologist at Dartmouth-Hitchcock who believes that reducing her anti-seizure med dosage will relieve her lightheadedness and short-term memory loss. He said he would recommend that change to her PCP.

Mom is back online, which is very exciting for her. Her new e-mail address is maryjaneames(insert "at" sign)oxfordnetworks.net, and she is also on Facebook. Unfortunately she lost her e-mail address book, so she would love to hear from everyone so that she can have your address again.

I am flying North a week from tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing Mom and Dad (and Josey) in their nice new apartment. I'll be cleaning out the house in Gorham to prepare it to sell. Jack's parents are coming to Florida to help Jack with the kids while I'm gone. We all need and appreciate your prayers!

April 13 - In Their New Home

2009-04-13T18:17:00.003-04:00

Thanks so much for praying for our family, as Mom and Dad transition from their home of 40 years in Gorham NH, to Ledgeview Living Center in West Paris ME.

Official "Moving Day" was Saturday, April 11--the day before Easter. We are so grateful to Mom's sisters, Rebecca, Betty, and Jane, for the incredible amount of work they have invested into getting Mom and Dad moved. They helped to convince, they helped to direct, they helped to prepare, they helped to pack, they helped to transport (including Josey the cat), and now they are helping to unpack.

Other friends and relatives helped on Saturday too--thank you to each one of you.

Mom was able to celebrate Easter at West Paris Baptist Church, where she and Dad met and were married! (Dad didn't feel up to going.) Now that will be their home church once again. Chris and Lois drove up from Virginia to spend Easter, and this week following, with them. Chris set up Mom's computer, and Lois will be able to take care of a few things that need doing at the house in Gorham also.

I have a ticket to NH on May 14 (thanks to Tim, a frequent flyer friend!!). I am looking forward to seeing Mom and Dad's new place!! I'll be staying in Gorham, cleaning out the house and preparing it for sale. Jack and the kids plan to come up mid-June. Jack will stay a couple weeks and then return to FL. The kids will stay with me if my job isn't finished. I'm hoping it will be.

Mom is anxious about finding new doctors. She and Dad have a number of appointments in Berlin and at Dartmouth-Hitchcock in the next month. Transportation is a bigger issue now, with the longer distances, so they really need to transition to providers who are closer to their new home. We are grateful to those who are helping to drive them--THANK YOU!!

Most of all, we are thankful to God Who has brought us this far and will not abandon us.

April 1, 2009 - Mom's home

2009-04-01T15:39:00.002-04:00

Mom was released from the hospital yesterday afternoon, after a stress test showed no problem with her heart. I asked her, "So, how are we going to keep you from overdoing after you get home?" She laughed a little bit.

We are thankful for everyone who has offered to help Mom & Dad with their packing. We think it will work best if the efforts are coordinated so that a maximum of two people are helping at a time. That way it will be more low-key and manageable for Mom to give direction.

The exception of course will be Moving Day, April 11, when many hands will make light work!! We would really appreciate anyone who would be available that day.

Jack and I are working on planning our travel up there. Nothing is final yet but looks like I will go May 14, and Jack and the kids in early June. Jack is planning to stay two weeks, and the children and I may stay several weeks longer if necessary until the house is cleaned out.

Lois and Chris and their family will be there the month of June as well.

Thanks so much for your concern and prayers. They are a blessing and a great help!!!

Monday, March 30, 2009

2009-03-30T22:15:00.002-04:00

My mom was taken to the hospital with chest pains again this afternoon. Her EKG looks normal and Dr. thinks it is stress-related. That is certainly understandable, since she is very anxious about their upcoming move to assisted living, and she is driving herself and working extremely hard.

I suggested she make lists of things she knew she would want, but I BEGGED her not to look in bags or boxes that she couldn't remember the contents. . . because that is all stuff she doesn't need, but once she had seen it she would want to keep it. And she won't have room for it in the new apartment.

Unfortunately, what I feared is exactly what is happening. And it has put her in the hospital.

Thankfully, she should be able to go home tomorrow, and we will keep trying to convince her to take it easy.

Thank you as always for your prayers. Jack and I are talking about when I'll be able to go to NH . . . It looks like early- to mid-May.

Saturday, March 28

2009-03-28T19:57:00.003-04:00

It is late and this will be brief. My parents are planning to move to Ledgeview Living Center in West Paris, Maine on April 11. God did a miracle in my dad's heart as they went there today for a tour--my dad WILLINGLY agreed to the move and seems quite happy about it.

Proverbs 21:1 "The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."

My mom is overwhelmed and anxious about packing...and all the stuff she won't be able to take. Please pray for our family, as the coming months will be difficult for all of us; but when everything is settled, I know Mom and Dad will be much more comfortable and better cared for.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

2009-03-24T18:05:00.003-04:00

The past month or so has been very difficult for Mom. Although thankfully she has not had any more chest pain, her head has continually felt "strange"--dizzy and lightheaded, but beyond that, in a way she struggles to describe. She says it feels like everything in her brain is bubbling up and out.

Naturally this makes it tough to do much of anything. So she has felt additional stress from the difficulty of trying to wait on Dad, who has been suffering pain in his legs and hips that significantly hinders his mobility.

In an attempt to discover the cause of Mom's symptoms, her oncologist ordered a PET scan and MRI, which are scheduled for tomorrow (March 25). She will also get a follow-up mammogram after a suspicious one. She has an appointment with a neurologist on March 31, and on April 13th will see the oncologist again to get the results of tomorrow's tests.

Regardless of the test results, it is becoming evident that the effort required to live independently and care for Dad is too much for Mom, and is contributing to her current problems. She realizes this.

Yesterday, their family doctor came to the house to see Dad, and broke the news to him that it is time to consider moving to assisted living. Mom and I had prayed fervently about this meeting. Dad's reaction has been tears and sadness . . . which is better than the angry refusal that we feared.

The most likely option is an assisted living apartment in West Paris, Maine, near Mom's sisters. The logical next step is for Mom and Dad to visit there and ask questions. The biggest one is whether they could bring their beloved cat.

Our family pleads for your continued prayers. This will be a tremendously traumatic upheaval. After 40 years in their home, it will involve changing location, doctors, and church; as well as disposing of a tremendous amount of possessions and selling an old house that has not been updated since the 1950's--something that lenders are reluctant to finance in the current market.

The logistical details of Lois and I's involvement need prayer as well, as neither of us lives nearby; but helping Mom and Dad move and cleaning out the house are tasks that we need and want to help with. It will require considerable time, probably two or three months.

Thank you for your love and prayers.

Friday, March 6, 2009

2009-03-06T22:42:00.002-05:00

Mom and Dad have been continuing to "manage" at home, but Mom's energy level has been low, getting her anti-seizure meds to the correct level has been an issue, and she continues to experience frequent headaches. She has had occasional chest pains as well--and yesterday it became so severe that the home health nurse who was there called an ambulance.

She was admitted to the hospital overnight for observation. Thankfully, a number of tests showed no evidence of any problem with either her brain or her heart. So she was released this afternoon and a friend from church took her home.

We continue to be concerned about Mom and Dad trying to live on their own. We keep hoping, and Mom does too, that she will improve and be able to do more than she can now. If not, then a different living situation for them may be necessary sooner than summer 2010, the goal we had originally discussed with Mom. It will be traumatic for them no matter what. Dad hasn't agreed to move at all yet.

Monday, February 2, 2009

2009-02-02T13:51:00.002-05:00

John and Mary Jane are back to "normal" in that they are at home together, while Alice and family have gone back to Florida, and Lois and family have gone back to Virginia.

They are managing pretty well with senior meals, housekeeping help, and friends from church helping with transportation.

However, all of our family and friends, with the important exception of John, feel that they should sell their house and move into a safer, more manageable environment close to family. John is determined to "stick it out right here." However his advancing Alzheimer's, combined with Mom's still-frail health, make that unlikely.

Mom now recognizes this, and wants to prepare to move, possibly to an assisted-living apartment, in summer of 2010. This will involve disposing of 40 years of accumulated "stuff." Unfortunately, she does not have the energy yet to work very much on that.

So we appreciate everyone who is helping them in so many ways, and appreciate your prayers that God would keep them safe and give them the grace and strength to handle this difficult season of their lives.

Monday, January 19, 2009

2009-01-19T10:28:00.007-05:00

We are so thankful to God for a WONDERFUL 40th anniversary celebration for Mom and Dad on Saturday! It was held at the West Paris (ME) Baptist Church, where they were married 40 years ago on May 24. God gave perfect weather so everyone could drive safely to get there. The room was crowded, which, despite the lack of elbow room, was a wonderful tribute to how many lives Mom and Dad have touched.

Because purple lilacs were in bloom when Mom and Dad were married, we decorated the room with that theme. We had plenty of food, thanks to many who helped!! The cake, made by Katie Parsons, was beautiful and featured Mom and Dad's original wedding cake top. They also used their original cake knife to cut it.

Several folks from their wedding party were there, including the flower girl and ringbearer. The ringbearer, Jerry Oja, served as our photographer, and I will post some of his pictures when I get them. I took one:

Mom and Dad received many wonderful cards. They were so pleased.

Lois and I sang "Great is Thy Faithfulness" to thank God for the parents He gave us. We have come to realize that the loving, stable home we enjoyed growing up is the exception rather than the rule, and we are so grateful for it.

We shared a slide presentation of photos from Mom and Dad's past and present. The music that was supposed to accompany it didn't, but at least the pictures worked and everyone enjoyed it.

Lois and Chris, and Jack and I and our families, will be in the Gorham area the rest of this week. Next week we will go our separate ways. It will be hard to leave Mom and Dad. We have to trust that they are in God's hands. We are grateful for all the help and support that is available to them.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

2009-01-08T08:20:00.002-05:00

We praise the Lord that Mom and Dad are somewhat settling in to their lives again. I say "somewhat" because there are definitely challenges.

We are grateful for the availability of home care services to help Mom with housekeeping. She is grateful too, but it is always tough when someone else is doing your work, who may not do it the way you are accustomed to. If you feel the need to closely supervise them, it can be almost as much work as doing it yourself.

Dad is finding it stressful also, to have unfamiliar people in the house so often. So, when he is irritable, we would really appreciate prayer for grace and strength for Mom to respond gently but firmly.

Mom has days where she feels quite good! She tries to get a lot accomplished . . . and then she is exhausted for several days. Please pray that she would have wisdom to pace herself, and to know what tasks are most important to tackle with her limited strength.

She is very excited about their 40th Wedding Anniversary party, coming up on Jan. 17, 1:00 pm, at West Paris Baptist Church, West Paris Maine. Please come join us if you can! We are praying for good weather.

Thanks so much for your caring and friendship for our family. We give thanks to God for you.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

2008-12-28T16:57:00.002-05:00

We had a wonderful Christmas! On Christmas Eve, the children and I spent some time at Mom & Dad's (Jack wasn't feeling well). Mom had wrapped some gifts that she had bought earlier in the year, and that she had picked up on two brief shopping excursions we have taken. She was so pleased to have us open them at her house.

We were also able to deliver plates of homemade candy to her neighbors, that have been such a help with snow removal. What a great thing to live in a neighborhood where people truly care!! Mom walked to the houses on both sides, even to an upstairs apartment. It is great to see her getting stronger.

On Christmas Day, Mom & Dad came to the house where we're staying for Christmas dinner with us. That was a blessing as well.

On December 23 we met with a nurse from the home care service, who came to Mom & Dad's house to do an assessment of their situation and determine what assistance is needed. It was decided that someone will come twice a week to do housework and errands. The good news is that they qualify for a reduced rate for the services, which will be a great help.

We are looking forward now to a 40th anniversary party planned for Mom & Dad at West Paris Baptist Church in West Paris, Maine at 1:00 pm on January 17. We plan to mail invitations this week, but if you are reading this blog, please consider yourself invited. It will be a celebration of all God has done throughout their lives, but especially this year as we rejoice that they are still here together.

Friday, December 19

2008-12-19T20:51:00.002-05:00

Sorry it's taken a couple of days to post a report from our meeting with the social worker. I thought she would want to find out Mom & Dad's condition in detail to help us make decisions. But it wasn't like that. She talked pretty much nonstop, giving us information about agencies and programs. I was thankful that she spoke clearly and loudly so Dad could hear. He listened at first, until he dozed off. Mom took a few notes. I did too, but most of it I already knew from my job experience.

The outcome is that the social worker said she would send a referral to an agency. After January, Mom and Dad should no longer need nursing or therapy, but they will continue to need homemaker services to help with housecleaning and running errands. It is possible they will qualify for a reduced rate, which would be a great help. And the social worker reassured us that if and when their savings get below a certain point, Medicaid covers help in the home, to keep people out of nursing homes as long as possible.

When she asked if we had questions, I did express two of my concerns.
1. That Dad would veto the services because of the cost, not realizing how frail Mom is. (Since she has come home, he has asked her to do several things that she has had to refuse because she is not able.) We addressed that directly with him, and he agreed that help is needed.
2. The many falling hazards in the house. Even as we were meeting, the social worker expressed her concern about the humidifier placed in the middle of the floor, directly in front of Mom's chair. She gently told Mom that moving stuff around (such as having to clean off the washing machine every time it is used) adds to the risk of falling. Mom said she is careful. We moved the humidifier in front of a footstool piled two feet high with newspapers. And that was the end of that conversation.

The greatest concern I still have is that Mom and Dad both get confused. The numerous doctors that Mom saw during the first couple weeks she was having the mini seizures changed her medication several times, and she got completely mixed up as to what she should and should not be taking. If I hadn't gone to every appointment with her and written everything down, there would be no one to straighten things out.

Dad is adamant to continue living there, and despite the concerns, that has not yet been clearly shown to be impossible. Therefore, we will continue trying to put help and support in place for them, keep hinting at how warm and sunny Florida is, and trust God to make it abundantly clear TO DAD when they MUST move to a more manageable place. Mom & I simply cannot go against his wishes yet.

Thanks for praying for us!

Wednesday, December 17

2008-12-17T13:52:00.002-05:00

Mom and Dad and I are meeting with a social worker this afternoon, to plan for the time when I will return to Florida. I am looking forward to this meeting, because it will be a good opportunity to speak frankly about things that have been difficult for me to say on my own.

It still is not an easy situation, so I feel a little apprehension as well. Mom and Dad don't seem to, which is a blessing. :-)

We'll let you know how it turns out! Thank you so much, as always, for your prayers.

Saturday, December 13 - An encouraging week!

2008-12-13T13:55:00.002-05:00

This has been a very encouraging week, in that Mom seems much stronger now than she was a week ago!

She is able to do more around the house without feeling wobbly and getting so quickly exhausted. And she is starting to transition away from needing so many home health aide services.

Some confusion is still evident, as we had a couple of mix-ups this week about appointments and medications. But we trust that will continue to improve as well.

She and I have had fun this week, making a couple of batches of candy and fudge to give as Christmas gifts. That has been a tradition of hers for many years, and I'm pleased to be able to help her do it again this year. It didn't seem possible a month ago!

We will be getting the help of a social worker to meet with us and discuss plans for when Jack & I return to Florida at the end of January. That is encouraging too, to know that type of support is available.

Thanks for praying for us!! May our eyes stay focused on the One Who came as the greatest Gift of all.

Monday, December 8 - Doctor visits

2008-12-08T22:37:00.002-05:00

Mom & I had a good trip to Dartmouth-Hitchcock today. So thankful for roads that were mostly clear of snow & ice.

We saw her oncologist (cancer doctor) and learned that her recent PET scan was completely CLEAR! Praise the Lord. Six months ago there was a shadow on her liver that he was concerned about, but it has completely disappeared. He said it may have been inflammation.

We also saw the interventional radiologist who inserted the coil in her aneurysm. We discussed the TIA/stroke-like episodes that she's been having. His opinion is that because the symptoms are always the same, involving her speech and her right arm, it is probably not TIA's caused by blood clots in the brain. If it were, the symptoms would probably vary, as the clots would be unlikely to always occur in exactly the same place.

Also, he looked at the CD of the recent ultrasound of her carotid arteries, and reported that they look good! So they are unlikely to be the source of the problem.

He suggested the possibility of slight "electrical disturbances," neurons occasionally misfiring, due to the blood that still remains in the brain from the aneurysm. If this is happening, it is actually a mini seizure.

Both doctors were very caring and attentive as she described her symptoms, and shared their opinions; however, they both admitted that the problem is out of their specialty and recommended that she see a neurologist.

Her left leg has been giving her severe pain, which her primary care doctor thinks may be her longstanding neuropathy acting up. If so, she needs a neurologist for that anyway. (The one she used to see for it has retired). So when we find one, we can give him or her two mysteries to solve. :-)

Our trust continues to be in our Lord who has brought us this far and will never fail. We are looking to Him for clear guidance regarding what arrangements, probably changes, need to be made regarding Mom & Dad's living situation. This is a great burden on our hearts at this time and we really appreciate your prayers!

We are also planning a 40th wedding anniversary party for Mom & Dad on Saturday, January 17 at the West Paris (ME) Baptist Church. Lois & Chris will be here, and so will we, so it seems a good time even though their actual anniversary is May 24. We are praying Mom will be feeling better and stronger than she does now.

Friday, December 5 - more tests

2008-12-05T19:58:00.002-05:00

This past Wednesday, Mom had an ultrasound of her carotid arteries (in her neck) and also an MRA, which is an MRI of the head/neck area. Both were done at AVH in Berlin.

The test results were sent down to Dartmouth Hitchcock, and they immediately called her to set up a vascular study down there.

This coming Monday (12/8), we leave at 6 am to see her interventional radiologist at 9 am, and also her oncologist at 11 am to get the results of her recent PET scan.

The following Wednesday (12/17), we'll go down to Dartmouth again for the vascular study, which is another ultrasound as well as an appointment with a vascular surgeon. We pray that these appointments will result in identifying and remedying whatever is causing her frequent TIA's (mini strokes).

With the help of Pastor Jon Howry and three of his sons, we were able to rearrange some furniture to make Mom and Dad's living area more practical for their current situation. Mom has a dresser downstairs now to keep her clothes in, for which we are grateful.

Thanks so much for continuing to pray for us. We appreciate all the prayers and gifts so very much!! And also, that the price of gas has come down!! :-)

Saturday, November 29 - home again

2008-11-29T13:19:00.002-05:00

Praise the Lord that Mom has not had any more TIA's since Wednesday morning. Her doctor gave her the option of coming home Thursday (Thanksgiving) or Friday, and she chose to wait until Friday, saying she felt safer at the hospital in case anything happened.

This gave Jack & I and our children the opportunity to join Jack's family in Derry for Thanksgiving dinner, which was a great blessing and a needed break. Dad seemed very content and happy to have a quiet day at home. Lois and I connected with both of them by phone, which we all enjoyed.

Mom has been placed on another new med, Plavix, which is supposed to help prevent stroke/TIA's. Next week she will have an ultrasound of her carotid arteries to check for plaque buildup, and she will also have an MRA of the head and neck.

Please pray that God would continue to strengthen and heal Mom. We are so grateful for the opportunity to be nearby during these uncertain days.

Wednesday, November 26 - Mini-strokes keep happening

2008-11-26T12:55:00.001-05:00

We would really appreciate your prayers, as Mom has been taken again to the hospital by ambulance today.

Yesterday, she and I had a great day together as we traveled to Dartmouth-Hitchcock for several appointments. The neurosurgeon was very pleased with yesterday's CT scan, saying it was completely clear.

Yet, she has continued to have TIA's - mini strokes. It seems to be primarily her right arm that is affected. This morning it kept dropping and she couldn't control it enough to put the cap on her pill bottle. Her speech was also slightly slurred.

Those symptoms cleared up, but later when I had taken the children to the library and the home health nurse was here, Mom was having trouble standing so they called an ambulance for her. I arrived just as it was leaving, and the nurse filled me in.

Thanks for praying for all of us. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and we are so thankful that God is here, that Mom is safe in His hands, and that He is faithful to carry us through any circumstance that may arise.

Phone savings

2008-11-22T19:37:00.003-05:00

Today we were able to set up something for Mom & Dad that should save them some money. Dad was frustrated by the size of their recent phone bill, so we started brainstorming for possible cost savings, without sacrificing Mom's ability to connect with her faraway daughters and many friends.

We were able to install a program on their computer that enables them to make long-distance calls using their Internet connection. It worked really well when we made a couple of calls today! Unlimited US & Canada calling is $3.00 a month--CONSIDERABLY less than the same service from the phone company!!! And the rates to Ecuador are good also. We did have to buy a computer phone headset for $15.00. Seems like a pretty good investment.

Mom & I are pretty excited about it. Dad wasn't today, because it was unsettling to him to see us working on it. We had to move things and pull the computer out to access the jacks in the back, and any activity or change in the house is distressing to him. But we think he'll be happier when he receives the first reduced phone bill!!